-BaReFooT aLcHeMisT-

heartless biatch

2009-05-14T10:10:00.005+08:00

I was once called a “heartless cold biatch”! Everyone goes to some phases in their lives where they feel shit or do some shitty things. I, for one, can attest to that gruesome truth. Modesty aside, I’m one of the many “living proofs” that people do change. Most of the people I know can give that as a positive testimony. (And I’m giving myself a pat in the back for a job well done.) Ahem.

Kidding aside, memory lane hits my cerebral as I become hooked to a simple song entitled “Heartless by Kanye West”. The lyrics sorta reminded me of “my past crazy life” more than a decade ago. It has been ages but whenever I go back to that “old door”, I always feel elated to what life has given me now.

Why was I a “heartless cold biatch”? Maybe it started only as a defensive mechanism, when you felt vulnerable to every single emotion that life has to offer that eventually it started to slowly eat you up into unimaginable pieces tearing you apart inside and out.

It all started with a failed relationship that made me felt trash. Crash and burn deeply into the abyss of darkness. I felt used, abused and left hanging in the cliff of painful and slow death my heart. Along the path of recovery, I wounded many people’s emotion, destroyed their peaceful turf. Pretended I loved and cared for them and hurt them as if I wasn’t feeling any remorse or whatsoever. I wanted revenge for whatever reasons and whoever I’m with.

Looking back, I savored the topsy-turvy world of my bittersweet symphony--- full of grudges, pain and suffering. Then, finally it hit me like a thunderbolt that life is indeed sometimes cruel but you don’t have to be one in order to survive this game called life.

It was a very difficult and challenging journey to despise all the many temptations that the Devil has to offer. But as they say its all in the mind and heart. Focus to change. Have the courage to face your demons and transform your life for better even the best.

Many people think they are doomed to failure. They feel they cannot afford to crawl back up to the deep ground from which they themselves dig. They feel they are buried to this ground forever. But come to think of it, however deep shit you are in and whatever it may possibly be… there will come a time that someone UP there will lift you up and aid you towards the right path. If and only if, realization hits you and you yelled.. “Help!”

As the lyrics echoes in the labyrinths of my eardrum…
“Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless...”

I was once a heartless biatch because I also lost my soul along that crooked road. And I was sorry for those past to whom I have been a cold heartless biatch.

But when I finally walked the road less traveled, my soul found its way back home to me--- a renewed soul breathing a new life far from what I have dreamt of, the best life ever!

So, I say a prayer full of gratitude, as always… (winks)

back in town!!!

2009-05-14T10:06:00.000+08:00

I look at my notebook
Opened and started typing a word,
then a sentence
then a paragraph
Boom…

Im back from hibernation
A long hibernation indeed

So, here I am
Ranting and raving
Of things that matter
Or maybe even not…

Its just that…

Barefoot is finally back again.

Thanks for waiting…

hapi 2009

2009-01-01T09:22:00.001+08:00

happy 2009!

may all of us have a posperous new year

filled with happiness, good health and peace

God bless us all!

cheers!

happy new year to all!

Ho Ho Ho

2008-12-25T00:00:00.003+08:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Its the season of joyous occassion and celebration

but please dont forget the real meaning of it...

share it with your loved ones and enjoy the holidays

but above all,

tap into our faith and be one with the Lord God Almighty...

MALIGAYANG PASKO SA LAHAT!

decision and faith

2008-12-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

There is no right or wrong decisions. You just have to stick and stand by whatever decision you make. These decisions make us whole and are all a learning experience. That’s my stand. And that’s not only what I tell my friends who feel lost in their career or love lives, but that’s what I live by…

The past few months, my faith has been tested again due to the many setbacks in my career life. And for the “nth” time, I cling tightly to the light of hope flickering in the end of a very long, hard and challenging road of my career. I don’t want to dwell on it anymore but instead I see it as a learning experience - making me a stronger and patient person who is still very hopeful and optimistic to a brighter future ahead that will come soon, in God’s own time.

I saw a very good shout out from my friend’s fs account and I wanna “borrow” and add some to it coz this is how I truly feel in my career right now. And this is what I earnestly pray to Him …

“I can’t see the path I should take, Lord. So, I’m putting my hand in yours. Please don’t let me fall and guide me towards the path you want me to travel on. I’m surrendering it all to you, my Lord.”

Amen.

wifehood vs motherhood

2008-12-18T23:24:00.004+08:00

“I don’t think I can be a wife, gusto ko lng maging isang ina. Yoko ata maging asawa.”

Those were the words that came out from the mouth of my preggy bestfriend who is torn between being a wife and a mother. She is 3months pregnant and is yet to decide whether to be part of the married statistic of the world. She feels that marriage is not for her but motherhood is.

“nde ka ba natatakot na nde magka anak?” I don’t think im fit to become a mother, I am just a wife.”

Honestly, Im really not afraid of it. Maybe one way or another I kinda psyche myself for those things. That is why its no longer a big issue to our marriage. Im very lucky (uber) to have a husband who is very supportive and understanding and plus it’s a consensual decision.

I recently read from the book of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray and Love her insight on having a child or in motherhood and I will quote a paragraph in her book, which I find very interesting. And I wanna share it to all of you. Here it goes:

“How many people have I heard claim their children as the greatest accomplishment and comfort in their lives? It’s a thing they always lean on during metaphysical crisis… If I have done nothing else in this life, then at least I have raised my children well. But what if, either by choice or by reluctant necessity, you end up not participating in this comforting cycle of family and continuity? What if you step out? Where do you sit in reunion? How do you mark time’s passage without fear that you’ve just frittered away your time on earth without being relevant? You’ll need to find another purpose, another measure by which to judge whether or not you have been a successful human being. I love children, but what if I don’t have any? What kind of person does that make me? “ (Elizabeth Gilbert. Eat, Pray, Love. p. 126)

So, will you become a mother or a wife or maybe both?!?

Laters…

i. read.

2008-11-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

The past two days I was definitely engrossed on catching up on my readings. The past months, due to school works, I didn’t have the opportunity and luxury to sit down and read a good book. I hardly read books the past months, maybe because I don’t have good books at hand lately, be it owned or borrowed. That is why, thanks to my dearest friend Jack, who allowed me to ransacked her new bookshelf and lend me 3 books to read. And now that school’s over for me (for now) and I’m stuck home babysitting my nephew, I have the comfort of reading. No more excuses.

Reading for me is one of my heavens. It helps me widen my knowledge plus improves my vocabulary. It allows me to gain new insights on things ranging from trivial ones to complex issues. It assists me on ticking on my creative brain lobe and allows my imagination to travel on its own course. It gives me the motivation to blog more since I read more. Its one of my source of inspiration as a blogger, I guess.

For some, reading is very tedious and boring. But for booklovers like me, it is but a refuge. I always tell my husband that I love the smell of books everytime I go inside a library or bookstore, that somehow it kinda possess me and I am transformed into panic mode. That is why, when I have few bucks at hand, I see to it that I don’t go inside those bookstore, for it only pains my heart not to take them all home. (hehehehe) I would want to be their mother and caress them into my arm and tuck them carefully unto my bookshelf. (hehehe) Well, see even now, just by imagining it, I get into a “panic-possess mode” already.

Anyway, I’m enjoying every single second as I turn the pages of the book that I am reading; savoring the moment of getting back on one of my comforts and heavens --- reading.

Laters…

killer PUVs

2008-11-26T20:39:00.004+08:00

The past few months there were a lot of road accidents involving public utility buses along EDSA. There were some lives taken, lots of injuries and casualties. And lots of raised issues at hand.

What’s the real problem here? The real problem lies on the irresponsible drivers who feel like kings of the roads and is very omnipotent in the street and lacks the word discipline. Yes, it’s true that we shouldn’t really pass all the blame to them because they are just trying to hit a quota for a living just like an ordinary Juan Dela Cruz whose part of the low income strata of the economy. But still once they’re in front of that steering wheel of a public utility vehicle, they have to be extra careful coz the life of the public who patronizes them is at stake.

With the growing number of accidents in the street involving all kinds of public utility vehicle, it’s a big wake up slap to the government. Someone should make a move and pass a bill, ruling or law or whatsoever you call em. These accidents will not stop unless a specific solution is presented to the growing problem of a killer public utility vehicle.

laters...

undas

2008-11-01T08:48:00.005+08:00

pray. remember. reflect.

have a fruitful celebration of the undas...

"Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and

let perpetual light shine upon them,

and may they rest in peace.

Amen."

bonding sessions

2008-10-30T14:42:00.007+08:00

It’s always a very pleasant feeling to bond with friends even if on a short period of time. The past weeks I had the opportunity to bond with my girlfriends whom I truly treasure for a lifetime.

First stop: sept 27. We always plan for our get together but ended up with just a plan. But this day came as a surprise, my 2 girlfriends schedule finally intersect and one of them had the heart to go all the way from Bataan just to finally make it to our night out after almost 11 months. We are in the usual couple’s night out; we usually bond together with our respective husbands who became friends along the way. Usually, its just 4some since one of us stays outside manila. But this night wasn’t, we became a 3some couples, finally complete. Food and laughter is always in the agenda topped with several reminiscing moments of JOLOGS back in college.

Second stop: oct 24. One of my close friends from the states went on vacation and spent ample yet quality time together. Back in my “professional-working days”, the three of us became closer and was the usual “tres marias” in our unit ward because we share a very unique friendship. The three of us varies in terms of personality, maybe that’s why we all complemented each other and despite distance the closeness of the friendship remained over time.

The last but ultimately not the least stop: oct 25-26, was with my sistahs-my dearly JERMS whom I had been through almost a decade of pure unconditional friendship. We were like teenagers ogling on some acquaintances while surfing the net, singing our hearts and literally lungs out over videoke, pigging out like hungry beast over shared sumptuous meal, and laughing the real laughter coming from deepest happiness. We may not have grandiose get together, formal gatherings, exclusive set-ups and the works. But what we have that others don’t have (most probably) is the real friendship more like a family that lies deep within. Not tainted by fancy gatherings, money talks, childish inklings but rather a priceless bonding that will lasts a lifetime.

As I was eagerly uploading our photos, I was very ecstatic indeed. A bonding sessions with good friends and priceless laughs, nothing can be more compared. Eventhough, most of the time its difficult to make us all physically be present in every bonding sessions, still we are one in spirit (ika nga nila). Despite time and distance, busy skeds and rendezvous, new priorities and new acquaintances, the real friendship still remains and words can’t express how proud I am to be part of this “sisterhood”. That is why il be expecting more bonding sessions and will eagerly take the task of organizing such without hesitations. All in the name of good, true and lasting friendship. BOW!

Laters…

back in business

2008-10-23T00:51:00.003+08:00

It feels good to be back from a not so long “blog hibernation”.

It’s a nice feeling to finally use my notebook and type again my blogs instead of school paperworks. It’s a nice feeling to read the insights of your fellow bloggers instead of due journals for school. its a nice feeling to finally interact with co-bloggers instead of watching in the sideline for quite sometime. And, it’s a really nice feeling to finally be back on my regular hobby, blogging!

I may not be your regular blogger who posts 3x/week and is updated 24/7 with all the happenings in the blogosphere. I am just your simple blogger who wants to share my crazy self out into the online world.

But I have made a “promise” to myself…. A promise that is not meant to be broken (I hope)

I promise myself to blog more and I try to promise myself to hit my 100th post just before I celebrate my anniversary here in blogger before the year ends.

I have learned many insights from co-bloggers, gained new acquaintances along the way and shared my sentiments and insights to the blogosphere. Blogging is my “online world and one of my heavens”. Nothing compares to the feeling of being able to express yourself into writing. That’s why I sometimes tell myself of how a frustrated writer I am. How I wish I could just trade my nurse’s vow into a writer’s pledge. But I cant simply do that… that’s why blogging is my only route to fulfill my heart‘s desire.

So, I say to ya all… barefoot’s back in business! Let’s keep it all coming, bloggers.

Laters…

motherhen, ny1?

2008-10-15T10:29:00.004+08:00

Early morning yesterday, I received a txt from one of my bestest friends, “I’m pregnant! Congratulate me! Yehey!” She’s six weeks on the way and her baby has a heartbeat. A couple of months ago, two of my close friends delivered a bouncing baby boy. And just a week ago, over coffee, my girlfriend told me I should get pregnant ASAP. Believe it or not, a month ago, I cried having the thought of getting pregnant but it was only a false alarm which gave me the biggest relief,ever.

Why am I scared of getting pregnant?! My hubby and have been together for 5 years and almost a year of legally married. And we’re both in the “right age and right time” to start our own family. So, why in the world do I still have it as an issue?! I stop and reflect on my self. And iv realized that, im very satisfied in being a wife but I am not ready to become a mother. Maybe perhaps, I feel I still have obligations with my parents, my family and to my career. We both feel the same. Plus, having a child of your own entails a lot of responsibilities that I feel is too hard to handle on my turf (for now). Im not saying I don’t want to have kids. Who doesn’t want to see their genes pass on to the next generation, ayt? But I guess, not yet for now… (pero sabi nga nila, pag ibibigay eh d ibibigay di ba?!, pero gusto ko ata made abroad ang junakis ko para nde na Philppine passport hawak nya! Hehehe)

We’re carefully planning our life together. We are enjoying our couplehood and slowly embracing the reality of being a parent soon. Most importantly, we are praying for God's plan for us. and if that plans comes along the way, we will accept it wholeheartedly. We want to make sure that we will offer the “best life” for our child. And we want to be ready when we have him/her in our life (emotionally and financially). I guess the money part comes easy. But the questionable part is the emotions and the reality of being a parent that is kinda hard to sink it. wadaheck, they always say it’s almost automatically instinct- that parental instinct kicks in. so, I say, kampai to that.

But then again, on second thought, Im really not yet ready to kampai to that… (is it bad?!)
Are you ready to become a motherhen, ny1?!

hibernation

2008-09-22T15:32:00.003+08:00

its been quite a while since iv blog...

hibernation, perhaps

thats why im currently on a " mandatory blog break"

mandatory because i simply cannot find enough time to spill all the matters of my mind and heart. i am way too busy now...

busy with school ( which is about to end, thank GOD!)
busy with family ( too many errands to do)
busy with married life ( no further explanation needed - winks)
and busy as i want to bee.... (watever)

enough of the excuses....
so, for now, i will just be observing in the sideline
and gonna break into the open soon...

coz for now,
hibernation hits my system...

laters....

flat affect

2008-08-12T06:00:00.000+08:00

A mail containing valuable documents which may affect my future career, it can make my career dilemma finally end or it may contain to worsen the hole that I’m in. It’s a break or make thingy for me. I just hope and pray it is really “the one true way” for me. I’m just leaving it all up to the boss up there.

I don’t want to anticipate neither plan for what’s in store for me the coming months ahead. Simply because I don’t want to get disappointed and get frustrated for the nth time. (again and again and again) That’s why im just taking it one step at a time. Im taking little toddler steps and not hurried adult steps. I don’t wanna get jaded by the bright light and then only discovering it was blinding the true picture at hand.

I’ve had so many disappointments and frustrations in my career life. I’ve been bruised and burned alive. I had so many setbacks along the way to reaching my dreams and plans. I had my share of it all. Maybe this time, the God Lord will answer my plee and bring me back on track and hopefully with His plan; I will be on the road to my career-happiness. Soon, I hope and really pray. AMEN

bittersweet symphony

2008-08-08T06:00:00.005+08:00

Barefoot: “ano hiwalay na naman kayo?!” bakit?
Havaianas: “ala lang.”
Barefoot: “aysus, stir mo ko, magbabalikan rin kyo nyan.”
Havaianas: “grl, whts wrong with me?”
Barefoot: “pok-pok ka kasi eh.”
Havaianas: “hopeless”
Barefoot: “pa therapy ka na nga, now na, tara na!”
Both: giggles

As I finished talking with one of my best friend regarding her unending cycle of saga love relationship stories, I came to reminisce the past college kikay days that we had. We were barkadas during college days. We‘ve shared almost everything and anything in our four year lives together in college but more importantly we’ve shared the sought after word called friendship (and still counting…yipee)

As I write this blog, (it’s my 2nd revision and super due late), I wanna deliver my message not by a story but by a simple unsolicited letter to a friend from a friend. Simple pero rock! Better late than never. So, here goes to you my dearest friend and to your bittersweet symphony!

It has been a decade since we 1st got to know each other. We were both strangers and I guess started on the wrong foot. But eventually, we became barkadas through the years, even bestbuds. We shared many memories together from trivial things to deep shit secrets. We’ve had our laughters and sorrows. We had our arguments and dramas, lola. Name it and we had experienced it one way or another.

We almost share the same “love story saga” only you were more kikay and landi than me. You had many boylets as you struggle to climb the love vein of mankind. We both had our fair share of love --- its crowning glory of bittersweet symphony. Many shared stories of kilig love moments, many scribbles in our lil pink notebooks, many weird but fun rendezvous with potential lovers, unrecounted meetings with strangers only to make fun or make out, several bonding double dates with our current beau, many tissue papers thrown in the bucket of tears, many grudges and baggage left out in the painful cruel rain, many Pandora’s boxes opened incautiously as we expel all our pains and sorrows from failed relationships and many lessons hopefully learned, even in the hardest ways. I can go on and on and on as I recount all the many things that seem to mirror our love story saga. Only now, I have ended my search for the so called, “the one” yet you are still in the search for yours as well I truly pray that you will end your search soon, in God’s time and plan..

We live in a cruel and challenging “love world”. As they say, it’s a jungle out there and how will you survive in your search for the ultimate happiness in your life. Lessons learned are learned in the hard way but lessons will only be fruitful in its essence if we undergo the normal phase of grieving when we’ve stumbled and fall along the rocky road of love.

My dearest friend, I want you find in the deepest of your heart the essence of your true happiness. Find in yourself the courage to move on and accept the reality that life is really cruel but you don’t have to be cruel in order to survive. I always tell you to find yourself first—love yourself, seek what really truly makes you happy deep within and have a quality alone time with yourself. It is the only way in which you can seek within yourself the true purpose of the many lessons that has been there right in front of you fro many years now.. I know it’s not easy and it’s very difficult to undergo the normal and usual DABDA grieving stage, but it’s your only way to relinquish and live out the lessons in those pains. For if not, the cycle will continue as if you’re not learning anything from it. Masochism is merely a temporary escape route for you but you will reach a time in your life when you will get tired of it and will sulk into depression. You will get tired of the burden and will seek out peace within you.

All your boylets may give you pleasure and happiness for now, but do yourself a big favor and give yourself the right happiness and peace of mind that you truly deserve. You’re a smart and beautiful woman, inside and out, it only needs a big nudge to realize that you deserve the best rather than what you have in your lap right now.

No matter what road you take, no matter what path you choose to travel, if that will make you happy, I will support you all the way. It just pains my heart to see you in such uncompromising complex situations although you almost seem to enjoy every bit of it. I will never get tired of telling you how much I will be here for you because at the end of the day, it is still your final call. I am just here if you need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a punching bag to shout your grudges, call a therapy and whatever you wanna do, I will just be here. Always remember that there’s no such thing as a hopeless case, look at me, aight?! It takes a lot of courage and pride to put a stop to a pleasurable yet complex life that you are living, but trust me, in the end of a dark tunnel comes a shining light ahead. It will be worthy, if you just look towards a simpler and maybe “boring” road. You can never tell, what lies ahead of you. Always have a hopeful heart and clean aura, for the universe will attract the right colors to brighten your world.

Friends will forever be here at your beckon call. And I will be here for you no matter what it takes. If it takes a major cranial surgery to remove the helmet in your head. If it takes a major bypass surgery to reconstruct the fatty layers of your heart. If it takes a great shamalan to wave out bad spirits in your aura. If all that needs to be taken in order for you to be at the right track, I will support you all the way… I will try to convince you to come to the light, but I can just do so little.

It is still your final reach, girl! So, deal or no deal?!? I sound so Love Notes here, but hey, loka loka ka kasi at blog ko ito.. kaya pagbigyan mo na ko! hehehe

As I always say, if it makes you happy, suportahan taka (alam mo nmn ako kunsintidora). And btw, as I was cleaning out my boxes full of memories from friends, I came across one note from you dated July 1, 2001 “I hope you’ll find the right path and if you have troubles finding it, I will just be here for you.”
And now, as you face your own demons and crossroads, I say to you… may you find the right path for you and as always--- I will be here for you, girl! .

Yun lang po at mahal po kita, aking kaibigang baliw! mwah

"reMEniscing"

2008-08-07T18:00:00.002+08:00

Reminiscence – an account of remembered experiences done by talking, thinking and writing.

Last night, as I struggled to work on my journals for school but to no avail, I’ve decided to go online instead and kill time. I was doing my usual blog rounds, emails, net surf and chatting with friends. Until, I accidentally stumbled upon 2 personas who were part of my “past” --- a very dear friend and an old flame. And I would like to call it as reminisce night. I was happy to see them and catch up on some lost times and brush up on the past, in a way.

The “1st reminisce person” for the night was a very good old friend of mine. We’ve known each other for almost a decade now. We were partners in almost all the crazy days I had before. He became a household name before and was constantly there if I needed a guy’s viewpoint to all my crazy love saga. He tired to pursue me but was futile. In the end, our friendship was more important to us than any romantic connections. He was the guy version of my old self, call it mirrored personality. Back then, he would always ask me to tag along on his many girl rendezvous, demands to help him in his music career, always asks for free foods and gimiks and regularly makes our house as his official tambayan.That is why, up to now, its funny to see him still unchanging and is still an eligible bachelor. He always jokes me that since I got married I became boring and was so renewed, he felt left out but still his very happy for my present new life.

Barefoot: “daya mo, nde mo ko niyaya sa gig mo!”
Musikero: “aysus, magpapalibre klng at masydo ka na renewed for a nyt life!”
Barefoot:”yabang mo!”
Musikero: “lagot ako kay papu no o kya si papu na lng isama ko! “
Musikero: “sapok gusto mo!”
Musikero: “joke lng kaw pa, malakas ka sa kin!”

Sometimes, we may lose touch and don’t regularly see each other but we both know that the friendship lies deep within. And I know, anytime I need a help, he’ll always be there for me. (kaya pare, pautang! Kampai! Hehehe)

The “2nd reminisce person” for the night was an “old flame”. He was a past who made my life topsy turvy, literally. We didn’t exactly open the Pandora’s Box, there’s no use to it. But we kinda brushed up on old recollections. And as I go through my mind, I was a crazy biatch then. Laughter filled my mind and can just simply say, “well, shit happens to us back then.” We can no longer turn back time but what we had were lessons well learned. At the end of the conversation, I was able to say thank you (still), for if not for “our past” I wouldn’t be able to see my true happiness.

Bestfren: “anong gagawin mo pag nakita mo ang mga ex mo?”
Barefoot: “iv always wanted to personally say thank you to them.”
Bestfren: “ang weird mo! sinaktan at iniwanan ka na nga nila, tpos mag ta thank you ka pa?!”
Barefoot: “nde yun weird no! ala stir, mag thank you talaga ko. Kz if not for them,

nde ako mapapadpad sa mga yakap ni papu ko ngayon no!”
Bestfren: “aww, korak! pero ang jutangs dnt 4gt grl!”
Barefoot: “loka! Hehehe!”
With the overwhelming and overflowing happiness that I have right now, it is but right to thank those of my past, for without them, I wouldn’t really appreciate the worthiness of my life right now. (kaya para sa inyo, tnx po and I nid those cash back, kidding!)

If you are able to freely talk about the past and just laughed about it, it’s a good sign you have finally moved on, no more bitterness and pains, only pieces of old memories. That’s why whenever I reminisce, it feels good coz I have moved on (plus omg it has been ages). It doesn’t mean that you’re rekindling old sparks but instead it lets you look back on your life and assess whether you are on the right track. It helps you stay grounded and recognize the value of living “the life”! And more importantly, it makes you feel so grateful for the valuable life experiences and lessons that you will keep for a lifetime and even share to your future generations. Reminiscing once in a while is always a good reality check.

My bestfriend asked me if I regret anything in the past and if I were to turn back time, what would I do? --- I do not regret anything that happened in the past, in fact, I’m very open with my past and I’m proud of what the past gave me. If I could turn back time (which is kinda exciting), I will still choose the life I had back then. Yep, same old ME. No edits needed, neither will I delete or add anything. No changes, as it is. I will relinquish all of it, same persons, experiences and lessons; the joys and pains, for if not for those experiences my life now wouldn’t be as worthwhile.

As I look at my snoring and lovable husband in bed while recalling my past--- that eventually led me to him, I just gave a big sigh and felt uber grateful to the God Lord… truly indeed it was all worthy!!! (winks)

PS. (pagbigyan mo na ko bby sa mga kasentihan ko, 2tal blog ko ito hehehe)

road less traveled

2008-08-07T06:00:00.001+08:00

Two of my bestest friends are in a love dilemma right now. And both of them, in different occasion, asked me how I manage to face my own demons and walk out of it with a successful big grin.

Come to think of it, I never really knew how I did it. It just sorta came to its own mind and suddenly all the pieces of my broken life was put in its proper perspective. As they say, destiny suddenly made my life turned up the notch.

I lived a crazy life back then, looking back, I never regret any single one of it, for it made me to where I am now. I had depressed stages and ice queen season where in all I have in my heart was pure bitterness, revenge and grudges. Until one day, it hit me like a big meteor shower, that my life was a big freaking mess. I had to choose whether to follow the path down and burn in hell or walk my path up and be in blissful serenity.

“Masarap ang maging single no! Puro ka lang date tska walang commitment.”

It wasn’t easy to choose. I loved the single arena. You have your independence. Date who ever you want and splurge into temporary happiness and pleasure. The excitement of complex set ups always was a big adrenaline rush. But in the end, it was a tiring saga of failed hopeless relationships. I was in my mid 20’s but with a mind and heart of a toddler, always wanting to get everything at hand and doesn’t know the word “NO”.

“Girl, are you kidding me, magkaka jowa ka na seryoso?! Oh it’ll be boring, you’re missing out a lot and giving up your single-blessedness!”

It came to a point, where I had a big knockout from up above, I was in a situation wherein I had to choose between the life I was currently loving and living back then and a life unsure of it certainty and might be boring due to its simplicity. Only then to realize that the kind of life whom I thought would be another fruitless encounter would be the right one for me. It is without a doubt, the best life I have right now.

I took the courage to face all my demons and battled my fights fairly. I was in a crossroad and took the risk to the less road traveled. I lived my life with experiences worthwhile because in the end God gave me this life I have right now --- and I could not ask for more!!!

Hubby: “Uy, pare. MIsis ko!” (wow, nde lng sarap pakinggan sarap pa ng feeling)
Friend ni hubby: “Naks, pare, finally… congrats sa inyo ha… buti pa kyo!”
Hubby: “Kaya nga eh sobrang saya.Salamat!” (sabay kiss sa akin at squeezed my hand tightly)
Wifey: sighs with unending gratitude

So, would you choose the road less traveled?! Just a thought, perhaps…

Laters…

august

2008-08-06T15:52:00.004+08:00

It’s the rainy month of August again. August is a month with a few holiday in the calendar. It is also the month of Habagat season for beachbum travelers and a lean season for airline industry. It is also the month filled with unexpected rains and suns but mostly considered as the rainy month. It is the month where most classes are suspended and floods rule the city. And its all because of the August rains.

August rains are blessings for me. August is considered to be my red-letter month. It is because of two reasons : it is my birth month and it is my love month.

It is the month that God gave me to my parents and was born into this world. It was a rainy afternoon August day when my mother delivered me, their 1st born child. Rainy afternoon August day was a blessing to me and my family. Also, this is the month, where I 1st met my loving husband. Again, it was a rainy afternoon August day when we crossed our paths and the rest was history. Another rainy afternoon August day was a blessing to me and my husband. Whew, as they say, when it rains, it pours... and it really did on me! (smiles)

August month usually and continually reminds me of the many blessings I have received during this part of the year and I will forever be grateful for those August rains because indeed they were all blessings from up above!

laters...

oversupply

2008-07-09T22:40:00.007+08:00

Last night, it was reported on the news that there is an oversupply of nurses here in the Philippines. There are high rates of unemployment for nurses in the country. According to the news research c/o PNA (Phil. Nurses Association) reasons includes: the retrogression in the US and the growing strictness of overseas application for nurses around the globe due to the growing demands for efficient nurses, local hospitals overstaffed with nurses, higher rates of training fees for new nurses, higher qualifications for employment and the lists goes on.

This was my predicament for almost a year now. My hubby disagrees with me on this matter. According to him, its logic that nurses simple doesn’t get a downfall. Patients will continue to go to hospitals and need the service of a nurse. He doesn’t see yet the real picture of nursing profession in our country.

But as per history dictates, there where cycles of nursing recession around the world. The demands for nurses may still be there but the demands to export nurses may be questioned. It is a given rule that hiring foreign nurses is a great business. They have to spend big capitals to hire nurses here in our country. And with the present global economic recession, I don’t think other countries will gamble on us for now. That is why, many nurses with ongoing petitions to the US, are stuck here for years now because of retrogression. Many nursing graduates every year are not given the opportunity to land a job. Because others who have plans to go abroad are put on hold and they simply can’t resign from their hospital jobs thus staff turnovers are low. Simply put in words, there is increasing number of nurses yet there are lesser job opportunities to fill the growing gap. Do you see my point?!? (hehehe)

Nursing is on its downhill. It is not a lucrative career for now. It just saddens me because nursing in our country has become a business. Despite the present situation, nursing schools are like mushrooms around town. They are milking cows and insensitive parasites giving false hopes to future nurses who only want to earn loads of money.

Reality check please! FYI, Now is not the right time to take up nursing neither to take a career in the nursing academe. Nurses now have different jobs on call centers, corporate world, business or even just a plain bum. Nurses are overstaffed in Philippine hospitals; most of the prestigious institutions are freeze hiring nurses or even charge a greater amount for training causing a pain in the ass of a newly inducted Pinoy nurse. A nurse who plans to go abroad experience a thick wall to climb and finds it very difficult to reach their dreams. Nursing now is on its downhill, check our history and you will discover that my predicament is true. Sad but true.

And reality bites hard, really!

"dog-tired barefoot"

2008-07-08T22:29:00.002+08:00

Every Saturday I feel as if a vampire sucked out galloons of my blood supply making me a weakling. As if my energy field has been suctioned out of my system by a pumping machine. As if my mind will just blow up and explode in an instance making my body paralyzed like a zombie. As if, I’m about to retire to deep slumber. Dead beat and worn-out me!

I am mentally and physically drained during this day, it’s the day of my masteral studies. Although, I’m only taking 3 long hours of 3 subjects each within the whole day, it’s as if it’s a 12- hour long toxic duty. Imagine, how much more exhaustion will I feel if I took another subject to make it a full load. I will become very dog-tired. Thank God, I didn’t enroled another one coz I think I will not be able to make it alive after Saturday classes. hehehe

I am really exhausted. It’s eating up my weekdays and even weekends. My usual lazy weekdays have turned out to be a weeklong for completion of necessary requirements to be submitted on a Saturday. My usual Saturday date with my hubby or night out with friends turns out to be a busy day in school and whenever I get home, exhaustion feels my existence to the brim!

Often times, I’m regretting why I went back to school and pursue further studies. With the new career opportunity at hand, I wonder will I still be able to pursue this degree despite the many hassles along the way?!? Will this masteral units earned be credited elsewhere or not at all?! Questions feel my drained brain and exhausted body.

But still, (I tend to instill in my system- hehehe) with the hunger and thirst for new knowledge and skills, a different environment with new faces and personality, a whole new feeling of regaining my confidence… I still breathe, give a big sigh and say “bring it on!” (I still tend to believe—argh)

laters....

blank

2008-07-03T23:30:00.002+08:00

I stare at the blinking cursor on my notebook’s bright screen.
I stare on the blank and empty document.

I stare not knowing what to write.
I stare not feeling anything to share.

I stare out into the open
My minds bugged by so many things.
Too much! I shout inside my brain…

There are many complexities in life
Too much, too handle
With this one brain that I have on top,
With this one heart I have at the center,
Its getting too much, too handle…

I stare at the blinking cursor on my notebook’s bright screen.
I stare on what seems to be a something
Words visited and became a blurred idea,
I finally stare and it was really nothing…

ps. author is on a perplexed state of mind (apathetic)

laters...

"teacher me? teacher u?"

2008-06-26T10:04:00.004+08:00

A speaker once said, if you’re only getting into the academe for the mere reason of money/finances, you’re heading the wrong track. Because teaching must come from within, you interact and share yourself with your students unconditionally.

As those words echoes in the labyrinths of my eardrum, it pricks me like an ant, guilty as charged!

An acquaintance once told me, “You should work in the academe; you’re very articulate and smart! You have a lot to share with the students. Swak ka for the job!” It was a great boost of ego indeed but why didn’t I took it by heart?!

Being a teacher/professor/instructor is a great challenge.

I strongly believe it takes a lot of courage, patience and heart in order to teach. I for one don’t have the heart yet. Perhaps that’s the reason why I turned down opportunities to work in the academe. “wala pa sa puso ko ang magturo.”

I don’t wanna teach for the mere reason of earning double or even triple digits per month. I don’t wanna teach for the reason of fame or social status. I wanna teach for the right reason and personally, the right reason is when I have learned and even found in the deepest of my heart that I like (not even love yet) to teach. As simple as that, I guess.

I believe that if I took the job now, it will just be a j-o-b not a vocation or a career. It’ll be another job that I will regret getting myself into because it’s not what I like doing or enjoy even. It’ll be another chained working legs and thorn heart. That’s what I felt when I almost accepted a teaching job in a university. I felt it really isn’t for me…

As I am battling a career dilemma now, I have yet to see what’s in it for me. Maybe this opportunity was given to test new waters, but I don’t feel like jumping in it, yet. Maybe soon or then again, maybe not… who knows?!?

Laters…

library

2008-06-25T21:58:00.005+08:00

It is an important element in education. It enriches the mind of a student. It should be a haven of books, periodicals, educational materials and etcetera that is needed to gather research and knowledge beyond the confines of a classroom and lectures of an educator.

As I search the university library I’m enrolled in, I felt sad and desperate. Simply because I can’t find good enough library resources that could help me in my research studies. Then, I remembered how lucky I was having an opportunity to be nourished by my alma mater with 2 building of libraries that are well equipped with books, periodicals, etc that made my college life easier. As I struggled to cope with graduate school, I thank my alma mater for giving me the perks of still using the library in order for me to find all my research thingies possible.

Realization hit me again. I am not disparaging schools without good libraries or taking proud of my alma mater’s resources. But what bothers my mind is how the opportunity to learn from a library impacts the youth of today.

What will happen to less fortunate individuals who wanna enrich their minds? What will happen to schools who can’t afford to provide a well equipped library to their student? What kind of discouragement the school is providing their students? How does one research for a certain topic if the library they have is not readily available? Such and such questions really are a big hole in the education system in our country. Lacking of such is really a pain in the ass. Students aren’t encouraged to use the library because it is incomplete and lacks depths. Students aren’t encouraged to widen their research ability and are dismay on the kind of facilities they have in their respective schools. The government should place a big bulk of budget in this area or the school per se should allocate enough funds in building a good library. A good library not only well equipped with books, periodicals, written manuscripts etc but also with a high tech internet access for their students. It may sound so pricey and ambitious but having this is for a good future of students.

Laters…

separation anxiety

2008-06-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

2yrs of bumhood. 2yrs of housewife-hood. 2 blissful years. 2yrs roller coaster ride of emotions.
Am I going crazy?!

As I cry myself like a baby in literally a fetal position late at night. I began to wonder whether I’m really going crazy or I’m already crazy. Too bad, I only ended up with swollen chinky eyes, red stuffed nose, throbbing headache, heavy feeling and a stressful downfall.

My hubby was leaving again for Cebu for some work assignments and this time I’m not coming for the simple reason of probably getting to start a job soon. But why am I not happy of landing a job most people want to have?!? I really don’t know. Sometimes I can’t comprehend my being. I wanna get a job. I don’t wanna get a job. I’m happy being a bum. I’m not happy being a bum. Job or no job. Happy or not happy?!

For the past 2years, I believe I lost my self esteem in terms of career wise. I lost my confidence down the drain! That’s why, most of the time I feel I’m not worthy of such job opportunities coming my way. Thus, I end up not grabbing anything. The problem lies within me! I’m not one person who gets a job just for the mere reason of money and fame. I get a job that I think I’m happy deep inside. Job satisfaction for me comes from within, not only because of monetary benefits but because I believe I can be a better me when I have this kind of job. It may not be practical; it’s even altruistic in nature. But that’s how I see it. What’s the point of having a job that pays so high or even low when you’re not happily contented doing that kind of prestigious or even low key job?!? It’s very difficult to wake up each day with a heavy heart, trying to walk on a heavy road of your work. It’s like you’re literally dragging your chained feet just to work. Do you see my point?!

I felt that when I worked abroad. That’s why, I promised myself I will never allow it to happen again. But most of the opportunities knocking my way, leads me to such gruesome moments again! And I wonder, why?! Was it all a test of courage for me?! If it was, well sadly, I got defeated! Crash and burn alive!

When my hubby delivered me the news of his re assignment again in down south, it was also the day I got the news that I will be starting work soon. I felt ambivalent. I felt sad because my hubby will not be physically there to support me in my “1st week in hell”. Literally, I was like a toddler who for the 1st time goes to school and cries so loud because their parents are going to leave them alone. Do you get the picture?!

According to wikipedia:

Separation anxiety disorder is a psychological condition in
which an individual has excessive anxiety regarding separation
from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment
(like a mother). Present in all age groups, adult separation anxiety disorder
(affecting roughly 7% of adults) is more common than childhood separation
anxiety disorder (affecting approximately 4% of children).

I think I'm having a separation anxiety. Anxiously separating from my hubby physically, who’s my ultimate support system and has a strong attachment of course. Separation anxiety from the reality of bumhood to working class. Argh! I really can’t explain that much. My emotions are intertwined with lots of complexities. My stress level is causing my health to deteriote. My mind is losing it’s sanity state! I’m really really really lost in this career mess that I got myself in.

I really don’t know now… I’m at lost and I hope I’ll soon find the right way to my redeem my insanity, soon! Better hurry up!

sexual compatibilty

2008-06-16T10:57:00.000+08:00

Are you sexually compatible with your mate? I took this free test online out of boredom. And lo and behold, I am very much compatible with my hubby. Actually, without even taking the test, of course, I ultimately know we are coz if not, why would I marry him in the 1st place?!

Most of us think that sexual compatibility isn’t really a big factor in considering when talking about marriage. I strongly disagree, with the growing number of infidels; you would wonder why sexual compatibility plays one of the factors in a relationship. Based on surveys, most infidelity issues can be correlated with sexual incompatibiltity problems. Personally, a friend of mine isn’t satisfied sexually with his partner that’s why he felt a void in his sexual life, thus leading him into elicit affairs.

Man by nature has the mating instinct, to procreate and enjoy the life that God gave him. It’s not lustful in a sense but it’s part of our genes as human instinct dictates is to mate and procreate.
Love is shown thru affection and one great act would be to make love to your partner. And that’s we’re sexual compatibility comes into the big picture. You should jive with the same music and wavelength in order to get satisfied with whatever you both have.

Then goes the question: how do you test your sexual compatibility prior to marriage? Does Pre marital sex a pre requisite? (I’ll discuss that on my next series of posts)

But again, the bottom line of it, after the libido tamed down, the years grown old and skin wrinkled, the reproductive system’s ability to mate deteriorated, the romance slowed down and etcetera--- the ultimate factor to consider is still companionship, nonetheless!

movie blast

2008-06-15T08:10:00.004+08:00

Last week, I had the opportunity to finally catch this much awaited debut on screen with my lovable and wacky girlfriends. And it was a blast!

Sex and the City was a popular American cable television program based on the novel of the same name by Candace Bushnell. It was originally broadcast on the HBO network from 1998 until 2004. Set in New York City, the show focuses on the sex lives of four female best friends, three of whom are in their mid-to-late thirties, and one of whom is in her forties played by awesome, wonderful and chic talents like Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie Bradshaw), Christen Davis (Charlotte York), Cynthia Nixon (Miranda Hobbes) and Kim Cattrall (Samantha Jones). It discusses not only the complex and intertwined lives of the ladies but most importantly the kind of friendship that bonds them all.

I think the movie holds true with the concept of the series. Wooing us with all the complex set ups and few teary eyed events; the movie was a “good adaptation/continuation” of the TV series. And I bet, there’s even a possibility of a sequel. On the other hand, the lesson we can get is not the sex or love issues presented in the movie but the kind of friendship that revolves with the 4 characters in the movie. Friendships that will lasts a lifetime despite differences and conflicts.

But what makes it on my top list is that, with such chick flick movie on hand, is the people I shared it with. And who else would I wanna go watch it with but with my “gurlfrens”. It’s such a nice get together. Watching a movie you like with also the people whom you love, like good company of old friends. Incomparable! We were like little girls excitedly waiting for the movie, even discussing whose who, sharing fond episodes like crazy addicts, laughing, gigling, sighs and even teary eyed moments, etcetera. Above all, it was really a perfect night out with girlfriends and a perfect “bitin” rebonding with them. It was in a reminder for us, that we should do this more often. hehehe (without our hubbies, of course). But again, despite the buzzling busy skeds of my girlfriends, we unconsciously agreed to have more of such bonding sessions. (winks)

So, to all girls out there who haven’t seen the movie, it’s a great one to see and share with good arms of your “friendships”.

laters...

happy freedom day!

2008-06-12T01:00:00.000+08:00

“Walang iwanan sa bayan ni Juan”

It's a very catcy tagline of Kapamilya network in line with the

Araw ng Kalayaan

Do you feel the same way and what’s your stand?!?

Well, that's your personal call, Pinoy!

But for now, all I can say is...

I’m proud to be PINOY

and

I’ll forever be a PINOY wherever this journey takes me…

Happy Independence day, kabayan!

"dialech"

2008-06-09T10:52:00.001+08:00

Ever felt alienated in your own country? It’s a usual feeling to feel estranged in a different country with different cultures and traditions plus with a language you can’t comprehend. It’s purely understandable. But what I don’t get is an odd feeling whenever other person speaks of their own dialect in front of a non speaking one. Ever been in set up, where 2 persons right smack in the middle of your conversations suddenly blurts out in their native dialect?! What a sure interruption! How did you felt? Honestly, without any offense or whatsoever, it is purely rude and not courteous.

When I was still working in the hospital, most of my co workers are from up North, so they will literally talk during endorsements on their native tongue. That’s why there was a memo of speaking only the the used vernacular during work sessions. I also encountered that when I was working abroad, most of them are from down south and again, they will use their native tongue to converse in front of a non speaking dialect person.

I know, they take pride of using their native dialect, they are even excited to see persons using it, they may be used to expressing themselves in their dialect, but then again, comes the question of proper timing and courtesy.

I guess, it is but courteous enough to explain to the other person what you are talking about or rather excuse yourselves if you want to converse in your own dialect. It is not being paranoid of what you guys are talking but it is a matter of courtesy and respect to the other person.

I guess, it is but proper to use a language where you both are on the same platform. It is what you call as decency and courtesy.

laters...

"eduKation"

2008-06-07T11:00:00.004+08:00

June is the start of the school season. And for me, after almost 6 years, I’ve decided to finally go back to school and pursue further studies. It’s an impeccable decision!

Education is the best gift you can reward yourself that will last a lifetime like love and family. No one can take it away from you. Because what you have is beyond words to explain. It is instill in your minds and will help you mold your profession and personal growth as an individual striving to live in this cruel and competitive world.

To each its own. But on a personal standpoint, I have a high value and appreciation for education. I may not be the brightest one in the class, may not be the successful one after graduation, may not be the crème of the crop, but I will be the best in my own self. The education that I have and will have will be the key to making me fulfilled in my own little world.

Going back to school was a vision for me almost 2 years ago, I have always wanted to pursue further studies but season didn’t permit me to do so. Until recently, some changes happened that made me realized how I really want to go back to school not for any other reason.

Graduate school isn’t my scapegoat. It’s not for the reason of landing a teaching job, becoming a university faculty or dean, applying for a managerial hospital post or whatever. But it is for the mere fact that I’m doing this for myself and not for anything or anyone else.

I wanna regain my self-esteem. I’m giving myself the biggest favor of going back to school to reclaim my “old glory”. A new start; renew myself --- my confidence, my drive and passion for this profession. It’s one of the roads I’m willing to take in order for me to rediscover what I really wanna do with my career life. It’s a very personal thing that others may found odd and weird.

With the ongoing career dilemma that I have, this decison made me step back and see a clear picture, taking away all the worries and stress, and it felt brand new. It’s a breathe of fresh air, indeed!

I know its gonna be a hard and long road ahead --- reading books, listening to lectures, self-reviews, researches, discussions, presentations, exams, new mentors, new faces, new surrounding, etcetera. But with my hunger and thirst for new knowledge and skills plus my passion to try another road, it’ll be a great challenge that I’m willing to take! So, bring it on! hehehe

"black mistress"

2008-06-01T15:20:00.007+08:00

Zombie like impressions. Autistic like behaviors. Hyponitic aura. Madman on the loose.

That’s definitely the words to describe the status of my hubby while being crazy over his mistress. Yep, it was all my fault on having his mistress. I have always encouraged him to get one. I even pushed him to the limits to indulge to this craziness.

Why would’nt he, his mistress is slim, sexy, flawless, and very techie and talented – knows music, photos, internet and most especially games that he goes gaga over!

Oops, before you could think of anything… I present to you his new mistress. . .

My ultimate nemesis for attention from my hubby right now is his brand new playstation portable 3.9 version slim black edition. Sleek and sexy!

She's his "black mistress"!

Shoot me pls….
Barely, 48 hours upon purchase, I have stabbed myself like shitload. He was glued to it like 24/7, bigtime. It’s as if he was hypnotized like a madman to this techie invention at hand. OMG! I was literally shouting my lungs out just to get his undivided attention. Well, there goes my competition! Boom! And it was all my fault!!! I wished I’ve never given him the idea of buying this thing. Argh! Too bad and too late, now my competition is doing well of getting the attention of my hubby! But I know sooner and later, the hype and addiction will tamed down (i soo hope), and my hubby (non hypnotic state) will give me again and as always his 101% attention! But for now, I have to put up with such addiction! Argh!

laters...

"shoo-biz rendezvous"

2008-05-31T13:09:00.015+08:00

I got “deVirginized” 2 days ago, when I accompanied my dad to his taping. (fyi, his in "show biz"). He literally dragged me to join him in his weekly taping for a kapuso teledrama.

For years now, I’m the only “virgin” in the family when it comes to being his PA (prod asst or in layman’s term—alalay) in his taping gigs. Most of my sisters had their fair share of his showbiz rendezvous mostly out of town trips. And to their dismay and boredom, they will not rejoin dad again. That’s why; I always end up not accomplishing my duty as a reliable daughter. Because my sisters would always tease me that I will not have the nerves of tagging along as an alalay. Plus, I charged bigtime. Hehehe

But this time, while being the full time bummer that I am, I’ve decided to give it a shot plus the price was right (as they say) hehehe. And equipped with all the necessities like my notebook, sudoku, lots of foods and water, I tagged along on this almost 15 long hours of "shoobiz" incident. I was really prepared because my sisters told me of how boredom will strike you while waiting during the taping. So, what’s the verdict?

With literally 3 different location shots in various parts of the metro, the sight of some famous “kapuso” stars, meeting my dad’s co workers, seeing the whole crew from top to the very bottom working their ass off, pressures, long waiting sessions, puyatan sessions, heat from the high definition crew lights of the set, retouching, assisting in changing outfit, etcetera and so on…

I have to say, being a PA to an artista isn’t an easy job. It may be fun at first but as the days goes by; perhaps, it’s very tiring and time consuming, given the fact that you’re basically an alalay. That’s why; I salute those who work as one because it isn’t really an easy job to take.

Learning my dad’s world in the real context was a real eye opener. I’ve learned to appreciate it more clearly why he loved his craft. Not just for the money and fame, but because he loves the people his working with. That’s sooo papa --- very people-oriented and as I say very “shoobiz”. I’ve never seen how happy his eyes were while working despite tiresome and long periods of waiting for his shot. I saw where the money he gives us came from. Because all I along I just taught it was just an easy job, acting there and acting here. But as I saw how tedious the work set up was, realization hit me. It was all hard earned ones. It may not be the most difficult job in the world, but it’s definitely one of the most tedious jobs I’ve known.

So the bottom line, will I repeat this rendezvous with my papa? Yes, I will still definitely tag along as his PA because it was a fun way of bonding with my father, seeing his eyes glow as he proudly shows me the kind of work he has, witnessing how cheerful he is in his job, learning how I should value his craft and of course --- the price was right for me! Hehehe

adieu, pal!

2008-05-27T16:41:00.005+08:00

A tragic demise.
One mournful goodbye.
Four fruitful life years with a prolonged ardous drive to his deathbed that ended in stillness.

He walked many places, met many different faces, felt the cold winter breeze, experienced the humid desert sand, stared at several storms, engulfed by the deep blue sea and came across many seasons changed.

Through the years, he was an eye witness. The hardships, heartaches and disappointments. The sweet romance, love and affection. The success and triumphs. He felt the salty tears, heard loud grins and heavy sighs, and listened to boisterous laughters and deep slumber.

Many obstacles and accidents encountered along the way. He got badly bruised by undercounted falls and battery. He was thrown namelessly into the wilderness. He was eaten alive by dripping saliva of a tiny human being. He was an object of play to a naughty toddler. He was scourged into pieces. It was a lingering unintentional downfall.

Prognosis was horrific.

He was painfully deteriorating in a slow manner. He started to lose his skin, then his hearing acuity and slowly progress to his vocal system until he lost his sight. The only thing he can do was to communicate through his written words. But he still struggled to live each day serving his purpose --- “connecting lives”.

Until one day, his master with a heavy heart filled with precious recollections had to say goodbye for good. And on his last breath, if only he could shout and say, “Master, it’s been done. I have served you enough! I know a new companion will land in your hands soon and you will both embark in another journey like ours. So, don’t worry. Please let me go...”

So to my dear pal, thank you and I will miss you. May you rest in peace.

sudoku craze

2008-05-26T12:59:00.006+08:00

I first saw this phenomenal game 2 years ago in a newspaper section while I was still in Dubai. A coworker of mine was still a neophyte playing this crazy mind boggling game. She even encouraged me to try it out, but by the looks of it, with numbers as my nemesis, I shrug off the idea. Most of my friends are addicted to this game; some even bought books and downloaded games to their pc or mobile. Until recently, when boredom strikes my mind while waiting for my hubby in the airport 2 weeks ago, I gave it a shot in a newspaper clipping.

And lo and behold, I was glued to it like a zombie for minutes or perhaps an hour. And since then, I got insanely addicted, bigtime! Whoa! hehehe

Here’s my 1st successful Sudoku game….

What’s Sudoku?

It’s a popular puzzle game from Japan which is a number-placing logic game that tests once mental skills and no mathematical ability needed. Its puzzle is a large grid (9x9 puzzle form), has 81 little squares called cells. These cells are arranged in 9 horizontal and 9 vertical columns with thick lines dividing the grid into 9 bigger squares called boxes. A player has to fill in the cells with the numbers 1 to 9.
3 simple rules: Each number in any order must appear ONCE in a row, column and in each 3x3.
Plus, remember to use a pencil with uhm, enough eraser on it, coz you'll need it for starters.

This game has taken the world literally by storm. So, just follow the easy to understand rules of this game and then find out for yourself why players (ahem, guilty me) can’t really literally stop playing Sudoku! Get addicted to it! Join the craze and have fun playing Sudoku!

Laters…

blog break

2008-05-24T00:21:00.001+08:00

For almost 2 weeks, I was on a blog break because of two reasons --- vacation down south and my laptop went beserk. When I got back home from vacation, my notebook was literally fighting for his life infected with several self destructing virus of some sort courtesy of my sister’s habit of downloading literally anything from the net. So, I wasn’t able to blog for quite a while because I had to bring her to my ever reliable computer tech coworker of my mom. And he saved my “dying notebook” from his deathbed for free! Yippee!

I’m really not good with techie-computer thingy stuffs. That’s probably the reason why I always end up messing the system of my notebook. All know is that my notebook has become my 2nd journal; most of my crazy junks of ideas are created in here. And that is why, thou unequipped with a techie mind, I always see to it that at least have some info on how to take care of my buddy notebook.

Anways, enough of those rants… I’m back and I’m ready to rant and rave of the things I see from my perspective. Hehehe…. Laters….

"cRICEsis"

2008-05-10T13:06:00.004+08:00

Is there really a rice shortage in this land that produces most of the grains considered to be the staple food of the common Juan dela Cruz?! It’s such a big surprise that a country once considered to be an exporter of rice is now importing rice from other neighboring countries.

For the past months, with the growing media attention to the rice crisis that we have, you will really wonder whether (again), it was just another GMA’s strategy to remove the attention of the public with the current political hullabaloos and controversies bombarded to her administration. Is this administration playing politics, again and again?!

Honestly, when I first heard of this breaking news, I had qualms. Then, for almost everyday in the news it became bigger and bigger to the point of reported panic buying incidents of Pinoy community even in the USA and the obvious food crisis causing riots all over the world. It was a media rush of info and forums raising different views and opinions. Thus, intensifying the anxious Pinoys all over the world.

Let’s all face it all the commodities shot up like a fiery meteor up in the sky. But the salaries aren’t compensating with it. Thus, our daily lives get difficult and heavy. Tightening our belts and pushing ourselves inside a small blanket to cover our daily struggles. There isn’t only a rice crisis but electric, water, commodities and so on and so forth or economic crisis in general. Even though, the government keeps on instilling our minds that our economy is very booming. So, if that’s the truth, why the heck are we having a growing population of poverty?

I’m no economist or political person. I’m just a mere observer. And if my senses are still working its way up in my brain, I think there is really a rice crisis caused by hoarders, over pricing of rice and deficiency of allocating cheap rice to the lower class Pinoys and the government’s “inutile-ness”. Indigent Pinoys are getting poorer and poorer while Affluent Pinoys are getting filthy richer and richer everyday. That’s basically the problem here in our country, such thing, often than not, let me lose hope in our country’s progress. *sighs*

What we have is a tight spot in the world’s economy, in general. It’s a global phenomenon and that’s a fact! But the Philippines having in the downside, gets heavily affected by this recession of the mighty economies and putting us common Pinoys in a very sticky situation; coupled with corruption, mismanagement strategies and moral bankruptcy in the government. And I think that’s no brainer, Mrs. GMA!

So, better brace yourself, for it’s gonna be a long heavy difficult ride, kabayan!

And that’s my personal predicament…period!

missing my habibi!

2008-05-07T12:55:00.011+08:00

Being married means being physically together always. That’s one of the perks, I guess. But a couple of days ago dreaded news broke my utopia. My hubby was reassigned to Cebu for a couple of weeks, perhaps it sounded overrated but I’m totally sick to my stomach.

Hubby: bby, assign ako Cebu.
Wifey: ilan days?
Hubby: 2weeks to 1month, indefinite pa!
Wifey: Ano! Amp! Yoko nga…
Hubby: eh panu yn…yoko rin nmn pero kailangan…
Wifey: bsta ayoko, sasama ko! Huhuhu
Hubby: aysus, drama… if I know… (questionable grin)
Wifey: hmm… (evilish grin)

I told him that it’ll be hard again not to wake up with him on my side, not to prepare home cooked meals whenever he goes home and from the office, he’ll be by himself again with sorta drinking buddies in the staff house, etc.. etc…Whoa! Those where good enough excuse convincing him that I really must and should go with him there. After all, it’s an indefinite reassignment! Ahem.

More than missing him and being together. Honestly, I can’t miss the opportunity to go down south. And he truly knows that it’s my primary reason of tagging along. The lakwatsera mode in me was triggered by the word Cebu. He knows I have yearned of traveling to Cebu -- known for its rich cultural backgrounds and more importantly (for me) abundant islands with pristine beaches some even called paradise.

That’s why I’m flying tomorrow to join him there coz its part of a wife’s privilege, you know. (excuses) But hey, we’ll still explore Cebu together although it’ll be more business for him while more pleasure for me. hehehe

Wow,Cebu! Here I come….

For the coming days, gonna walk around and discover the city, gonna pig out and laze around and most importantly gonna soak up in the sun and be the total beach- barefoot -bum that I have always been and still wanted to be while updating my blog….. winks…. ( i just hope it'll not rain --- need to offer eggs! hehehe)

professional glitch!

2008-05-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

“God’s delays are not God’s denials”

I remembered reading those lines from the book, “Tough times never last, but tough people do!” by R. Schuller. It was a big slap on my face. A smack down!

As I crash into a big wave of professional bleakness, I feel down in the dumps again. All the delays in my professional life came rushing back and forth, as I read between those lines. Conceivably, all those setbacks that are continually happening in my career has its reasons, a good enough reason that only time will reveal its meaning. And I’m very much looking forward to on that one fine day to finally come.

I know those delays aren’t exactly His denials. It may be interrupted for a short period of time or even longer, but not necessary a total rejection.

It’s always a stumbling block!

It’s a big challenge to face such barrier for it will test your faith and trust to the one UP there.

Optimism and faith are my key to still holding on to my dreams and aspirations. Failures on the other hand, have always been there for me to make me stronger, teaching me life’s valuable lessons.

That’s why, to where I’m now, I say, bring it on! For I know, God is good and He will do the rest! Amen!

laters...

vertigo, away!

2008-05-06T00:01:00.001+08:00

“I’m spinning around…” as the lyrics of Kylie Minogue song echoes in my head while I was literally spinning around. My head feels heavy and the world is turning round and round and round. I feel a sudden jolt inside my brain and I thought I was going to faint and slowly fade away to a second of unconsciousness.

What the heck was it?! I am experiencing something called dizziness, vertigo, pre syncope, lightheadedness. And it’s not a good experience, believe me!!!

According to wikipedia:
The word "vertigo" comes from the Latin "vertere", to turn + the suffix "-igo", a condition = a condition of turning about.
Vertigo is a specific medical term used to describe the sensation of spinning or having the
room spin about you. Most people find vertigo very disturbing and often report associated nausea and vomiting.

It doesn’t feel right. I feel terribly bad. For the past months, I have been experiencing moments of vertigo. I have consulted my MDs and even made couple of second opinions, but it all boils down a not complicated type of vertigo. They always say it's probably lack of sleep or stress. "Nothing to worry", as I wanna quote my MDs. I am not even pregnant. I take my meds with meals. My blood work ups are very normal. I don’t lack sleep (err, but sometimes yes). I have no other medical diagnosis possibly relating to my vertigo. So, what’s probably causing it?!

Again, as my crazy mind juggles several crazy ideas, I came up with a possible connection of my health problem. It’s probably because I think too much. I feel that my mind can’t take enough of the deep thinking and over analysis of things, that perhaps it jiggles inside my brain and causing me to suddenly feel dizzy. Too many things at hand, too many things to think, too much stress, to many…. Too many… then boom… I feel dizzy!

Does it make sense?! I think it does, in a crazy way perhaps… err….

Anyways, I'm sharing some good reads regarding this health diagnosis called vertigo. Find time to gather infos if you feel this spinning around crisis like me.

Here are the links:

http://www.neurologychannel.com/vertigo/index.shtml

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/vertigo/article_em.html

Laters… I feel dizzy again.

"BLOG-ong blog"

2008-05-05T10:22:00.012+08:00

Yesterday, I was chatting with one of my best friend, Yheng over the phone. She mentioned that she finally took the courage of creating her own blog. She was surprised to find herself typing her way to the blogosphere instead of her usual chat sessions.

Eureka, Enrica! I am very delighted on her news of being a blogger as well, for I think in a way I kinda persuade her into it. I kinda induce her of my rantings and ravings as she patiently reads my blogs (thanks girl). That’s why in a way, it motivated her “passion for story telling” to be awakened. Thus, I tend to believe I have given her motivation to share her brainwave into the blogosphere. (ahem, hehehe)

Prior to her debut as a newbie blogger, she divulge me of her few hesitations of making her own blog like (a.) no good grammar and spelling (b.) blogs are mostly written in English (c.) what topics to discuss (d.) hw does it all works? (e.) many too mention concerns hehehe

All I can say to her was, “Huh! Enough of those queries and just go for the gold, girl! And don’t be afraid!” Never mind the minor concerns because blogging is considered to be a personal thing. Again, as I mentioned in my previous post; when I finished reading H. Nuttal’s e-book, I have discovered lots of things regarding blogging or yourself in general. I have grasped the idea of loving your passion more than anything else and that passion for me is writing.

Why is blogging not as popular as Friendster or Yahoo chat in the Pinoy community? According to pinoyblogero (http://pinoyblogero.com/), there are many myths and observations of a common Pinoy why they don’t find blogging interesting but it boils down to lack of popularity and promotion. Dissemination of ideas, perhaps.

I’m no guru in blogging. I’m also a neophyte in this world. But I strongly believe that anyone who has an opinion to divulge, ideas to contribute, stories to impart in the long spectrum of trivial topics to a more professional political level, random thoughts and ideas to reveal; and for those simple reasons, I suppose we all have the right to express and convey them out in the vast open.

You can blog. We can blog. We all can blog! And if we just spread a word or two regarding our "world", sooner and later --- Blogosphere rules!

So, to my girlfriend, thank you for entering the blogosphere! Enjoy sharing bits and pieces of your personality into the blogging community!
Welcome, cotton princess (http://www.cotton-princess.blogspot.com/)! You rock, girl! *hugs*

Keep on blogging!

Laters…

a ZENsible BLOG

2008-04-29T16:30:00.009+08:00

Photo by Clearly Ambiguous

Yesterday, I was blog hopping in the blogosphere and came across one post by Pinoyblogero (http://www.pinoyblogero.com) about an ebook entitled, “The Zen of Blogging by Hunter Nutall”. It was an easy read; it took me 10 minutes or less to read the ebook. But it took me a second to digest the things he shared in it! And it hit me like a thunderbolt. It was a very ZENsible Blog indeed...

According to him, (and i quote) " There is no great blog, only great
bloggers. For a person nothing worth saying, trying to create a great blog is an
exercise in futility, like trying to teach a duck sing like Pavarotti... I
need to start looking within myself to find my inner blogger. The rest is just
details." -- Perfect!

I just got an epiphany! Blogging isn’t only my hobby but my passion. Writing in general, for that reason. I have come to the blogosphere to share myself into the open waters, to share bits and pieces of my crazy minds filled with junks and clutter that needed to be disposed out in the wild. Not for fame or money, but just for the heck of ranting and raving of things that floods my mind, perhaps. Those two may just be an icing in the cake, as they say.

I have learned a lot from his simple yet very eye opening, inspiring ebook. That is why, to all bloggers and non- bloggers, I am very eager to share with you a copy of his ebook and find time to read it yourself… That's why I'm placing the link address here for you to check it out yourself. (Im very gullible with techy stuffs, sorry!)

Go grab this link... http://hunternuttall.com/resources/The-Zen-of-Blogging.pdf

Happy blogging to all!

wats up doc?!

2008-04-28T22:59:00.010+08:00

Ever felt scared while waiting for your turn for your doctor’s appointment?! Ever felt uncomfortable waiting for your turn to go see your OB GYN, specifically?!?

Well, for most of the ladies, its always a 100% uncomfortable and embarrassing experience to see one’s OB GYN, for the mere reason that you’re being examined while your legs are open wide in a stir ups. It’s very professional yes, but of course you’ll always get uncomfortable with such uncompromising situation.

My very 1st visit to my OB GYN was during my 2nd yr college days. I was literally having monthly dysmennorhea (painful menstruation), that was my chief complaint that prompted my consultation. I was accompanied by my mom and my 1st OB was very kind enough to explain all the things I needed to know while being examined in the stir ups. I was freakingly scared and embarrassed. But my doctor was very informative and calm, reassuring me of my 1st diagnosis. I guess, that’s a good way to start my regular check ups with her.

Since then, I became comfortable with my regular OB visits. Up until 2years ago, I had the worst OB experience ever with a consultant MD in Medical City, Pasig. I went there to have a 2nd opinion for maybe a possible newly diagnosed 2nd case and the lady physician was very unkind enough to give me a new diagnosis of my case. I strongly believe that everyone should be given a fair delivery of one’s diagnosis, instead of being informative and calm with my case. She blurted out in a panic mode of asking me to get operation ASAP, without the reassurance and explanations at hand. I saw her face as she probably saw mine, shocked. So, when we went to her office after the ultrasound, she even told me, if my previous OB didn’t know my case! Whoa, talk about patient's bill of right please!!!

I left the hospital with a heavy heart and literally crying buckets over my hubby’s shoulder. I felt I wasn’t treated right. I never returned to that rude OB in Medical City. Instead I found a new OB in USTH whose very kind enough to explain very carefully and thoroughly my case. She even pointed out the pros and cons of having the operation and not having the operation. I strongly believed her and put my trust in her that she will take good care of me. I still do my regular visits with her. And I don't have plans of changing my OB now, coz i feel good with her. On the other hand, I still feel uncomfortable but not because of the stir ups, but because I still feel scared that one day she’ll deliver "a not so good of a news" regarding my reproductive va jay jay! Kapoow!

laters...

yummy craving

2008-04-28T22:49:00.005+08:00

A couple of days ago, I was literally craving for some yummy sweet treat. So, in the middle of his work, I asked my busy hubby if he could ask someone to ship freshly baked goodies from Camiguin. And before you could think of anything… it’s not a pregnancy craving but just a greedy craving for some… pastel!

Have you tasted this sweet baked delicacy from Camiguin?! It’s really worth the craving! “Feel the soft sweet filling, melts in your mouth, delightfully desirable”. That’s their catchy phrase written in the box. And that’s exactly, ultimately oh so true. It’s a sweet and soft pastry buns filled with custard like/ pastillas like filling that melts inside your mouth. It has several flavors you could choose from, but I always stick with the original custard, that matches my sweet tooth.

So, when you have the chance to go to Camiguin, never leave without taking a boxful of yummy sweet goodies named pastel or if by any chance you have the opportunity to ask someone to ship it for you or ask a pasalubong, it’ll always be pastel… gotta grab one ….yummy!

laters...

dysfunct, d funk?!?

2008-04-24T16:57:00.002+08:00

Family is the core of the society. With the increasing rates of separations, annulments and divorce, broken families or so called dysfunctional families are very popular and no longer a taboo in our society.

I saw an interview of Oprah with Seal; he was comparing his happy married life to being raised in a dysfunctional family. He pointed out that growing up in a dysfunctional family – an environment not suitable for children is a very painful and difficult one, made him realized at a very young age the value of marriage and family. Instead of seeing it as “role model” he thought of the opposite. Thus, he said, during his search for love, he learned to value relationships because that’s what he didn’t saw when he was growing up. And finally, when he got married to supermodel Heidi Klum, he wanted a family totally the opposite of what he saw when he was growing up. Exactly my point, he really hit the key notes well! Perfect!

Self righteous people will conclude that once raised in a broken family, the child will also be having a broken family of his own when he grows up. Because they say that it runs in the genes and it is what they have seen during their growing years, their environment so for them they say that you will adapt it eventually. How pathetic and very judgmental.

Most of those children who grew up in such environment can attest to the fact that, such situation either “make them or break them” thingy. It can make them value more the essence of family and marriage or it can break them into rebellion or even dread it for they feel it will happen to them as well.

But, in my case and my hubby’s as well, it made us a whole new person and it made us to where we are right now – because we valued the lessons and learned from the past mistakes of including the pains we had experienced during childhood. I guess it was a blessing from God having bought us together, for we have the same “childhood dysfunctional family background”. We both saw how difficult it was to be raised in such environment, how painful separation was, how many wrong turns and setbacks our parents took and how it boiled down to nothing but chaos and traumatic separations. That is why it’s always a reality check for us on how much we should value our marriage and each other plus for our future family as well. Boom!

laters...

marriage qts

2008-04-24T16:39:00.003+08:00

Two weeks ago, my sister got married. I was looking at their mini souvenir and it was a box filled with marriage quotations. Here are some of the quotes that strongly holds true for me…

“ A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the
same person.” –Mignon McLaughlin

“A great marriage is not when the
“perfect couple” comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy
their differences.” – Dave Meurer

“Marriage is not just spiritual
companion and passionate embraces: marriage is also three meals a day, sharing
the workload and remembering to carry out the trash.” – Dr. Joyce
Brothers

“Marriage is a.. weaving together of two families, of two
souls with their individual fates and destinies, of time and eternity – everyday
life married to the timeless mysteries of the soul.” – Thomas
Moore

“When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do
you believe you are going to enjoy talking with this person up into your old
age? Everything else in marriage is transitory, but most of the time you are
together will be devoted to conversation.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Just wanna share to all those contemplating in entering the married life… it is again, in the tagalong lingo,” nde parang kaning isinubo at pag ayaw ay pwedeng idura.”

I guess despite the modern and dysfunctional family culture that this generation is facing, I still strongly believe we should make a difference and start changing it by simply valuing each and every relationships that you have right now…

laters...

long distance

2008-04-13T16:26:00.009+08:00

“It is not for the faint hearted.”

I can clearly attest to the fact that a long distance relationship is not an easy one. I have been there twice. During our bf-gf days of my hubby, we had our fair share of the so called long distance love affair, not once but twice (sounds like susan roces, but it’s really true… harhar)

We had to endure long months of physical separation, cold sleepless nights, dreadful solo-alone times, and telenovela drama emote days plus whooping phone bills, numerous internet access and cashy txt loads. And the long lists goes on… Its all part of the so called circa of a long distance relationship.

Time and distance tested our relationship.

But what made us hold on? Simple --- respect and trust. And of course coupled with ways in utilizing the word- communication. Easy to say, but indeed it was. I guess I was just lucky to have a monogamous partner and vice versa. And we really valued each other and our relationship that even tested by time and distance, we continued to hold on to each other. Our motto was, “walang bibitaw, bby!”

I saw several long distance relationships that stood through the whole test. I have also witnessed a handful of failed long distance relationships. I guess it is really not for the “fainted heart”… you have to be strong and ready to sacrifice. That’s why it is as they say for the strong hearted…. Maybe we are maybe we’re not… but we survived that phase of our love. And look at us now…

Such topic hit me again, for sometimes the career roads we are crossing may again lead us to this phase of your life. I just gave a shrug, for I know we had "been there done that phase" and again, it will just repeat the old times. Though, it still gives me a pinch inside my heart, I know God is very good for He will guide us through that path again... (if and ever if...)

Because truly indeed, for almost 5years now, we never let go of each other. We just hold on to our love and faith in God, that He will lead us to the right path despite the many obstacles we encountered along the way.

laters...

"my personal daily hell"

2008-04-09T10:25:00.001+08:00

I saw this blog post from my fave author, P. Coehlo. And I thought I would repost some of my answer here in my own blog. It’s simply a list of things that drives one crazy, gets on their nerves or makes one feel like in their own hell…

Here goes “my top dreaded 13 hells”:

*waiting in queues (oh so hate it)
*stupidity and superficiality in general (common…)
*no hot coffee for breakfast
*no internet access -- meaning no blogs and emails (argh)
*uber manila traffic jam!
*people walking as if in a slow motion in the middle of a busy street
*dirty and smelly public toilets (eiw)
*stupid and slow salesperson/cashier during mad rush in malls
*arrogant and braggy people
*people who are cramming up near the train door though their stop is still very far
*people who are cutting lines (oh bigtime!!!)
*loud people who are talking in puv’s with their sorta accents/twang

Just for fun… laters

halu, telepon (2)

2008-04-08T21:10:00.018+08:00

(This is a continuation to my previous post). I really again, retaliate this; I don’t have anything against the call center industry. It is even the biggest sprinter of the unemployed community nowadays. It pays well, high incidence of promotions and other perks. But I guess, it is not really for me. To each its own. (And the following commentaries are part of an emotional burst of unidentified ambivalent feelings toward the topic)

Most of my friends encouraged me to get a job particularly in this industry. According to them, it will just be another chicken feed for me. Modesty aside, equipped with a maarte twang in English, conscious grammar user and couple proofs of English exams passed, they believe I am fit for it. But I don’t think I am, really. I salute those who have endured working in this industry esp those nurses who became “colgrls and colboys” . It takes a lot of patience in such a working environment. Imagine, sitting 8-12hrs per shift, mostly graveyard, accepting or making calls, fidgeting in the keyboard and sitting in your rotating chair facing the computer, etcetera etcetera. That’s practically my reason, why I don’t have such taste and fancy in the industry. I can’t see myself doing such work. Where’s the challenge there? Speaking in a foreign tongue explaining such and such talking to someone on the other line in the other side of the world using the computer? Like a big hedious challenge right?!

The compensation here in our country is very unfair. A person in this industry working 8-12 hrs even in graveyard shift, working in front of computers, typing or receiving calls etc starts earning at around 15,000 up whereas a staff nurse in a hospital caring for patient’s life works 8hrs/shift earns a whooping 7,000 pesos! Isnt really unfair?! I’m sorry guys, but I have loads of friends working in the call center industry that’s why I basically know how they work. Comparing my profession with yours, it is really unfair… but I know, I shouldn’t compare notes really… but again, its just a clear observation from a different angle.

More importantly, what discourages me really, above it all--- is the kind of environment and culture I will be in, if ever I will work in this kind of industry. FYI, I was supposed accept a training 2weeks ago in one of the top paying call centers here in Manila. (i just tried really for fun and at the same time to accompany my sister also but was really surprised i was considered immediately) But, I've decided not to accept the job. Simply because of - I don’t feel its right for me. Practically speaking, I will not be earning the pay they offered to me when I’m a hospital staff nurse here in Manila. That’s the reality, really. But still, I felt I was doing myself and them a big favor. After all, if I would continue with a heavy heart, my performance will just stink and I will, in the long haul, call it quits. And the most important reason is that the company during pre orientation speaks of the world “fun and respect” but as the sarcasm of the HR vice president echoes in the whole training room, I don’t feel those words hold true, really. She was downright rude, ruthless bitch I have ever seen. Coupled with feeling superiors (take not feeling only) and very competitive trainees surrounding the whole room, I felt heavy deep within me.

I know the corporate world is really like such culture. But as I go through my senses, I have questioned myself if this is the kind of culture I want to be in, if this is the kind of culture I will eventually adapt and dwell in? As one of my friend said, she quit her corporate lawyer post for a gov’t post simply for the reason that she can’t stand the attitude and the culture they are thriving in. She don’t want to be like them in the future. And I for one, does not want to be like them as well --- unprofessional, ruthless and rude bitches.

I have been exposed to professional individuals, more superior than these “feeling superior only” call center people, and believe it or not they don’t have the kind of culture and and most esp the attitude that I saw in this bpo companies. That’s why I say, to each its own. And for me, I loathe the call center people who stain their supposedly “fun working environment" or their profession in general. I hate these people who feel superior in the surfaces only to know they are more low lying creature than you are.

The moral of these is – whatever position you hold in a company, whatever degree/exams you have on your portfolio, whoever you are in general, you are just nothing to me--- you are nobody in my eyes if you lack the word RESPECT, DECENCY & COURTESY. You are not GOD… you may be superior in your own lil corporate world but there are far more superior people around you and there is only one superior being UP there... You should treat everybody with respect and courtesy, for you may not know who they really are. Just like the famous La Greta – RCBC elevator incident --- learn form it biatches!

laters...

halu, telepon (1)

2008-04-08T21:04:00.019+08:00

I have nothing against the call center industry. Actually, some of my close friends are in the business. I strongly believe it provides a great job opportunity to everybody regardless of age and educational attainment. I also believe it gives a lot to uplift the economy providing higher revenues and lessens the widening unemployed majority. It is the airhead HR associates and “feeling kolgels and kolboys” that I really loathe (take note- loathe). (I'm not generalizing this industry but most of them based on first hand experiences are such creatures of the underworld harhar)

Again, FYI, I have tried applying in some bpo company and modesty aside, with flying colors, I always pass their trivial interviews and ends up endorsing me to the next level called training. So, what makes me wonder is that how some bpo companies conduct their interview in such a downright manner. I personally, haven’t tried one call center in Mandaluyong w/c I heard is very notorious during their panel interviews. A friend of mine and even my sister can give a testimony that indeed they are oh so not courteous. Their HR associates should be send into some customer care seminar or be given a how to conduct an interview dummy book. Another blogger also pointed out another call center located in Cubao, who has (literally) a Bisayan accent during telephone interview or even associates who doesn't really have the so called Am-accent, and I have personally witnessed it.

Come to think of it, a call center industry demands a high degree of English proficiency meaning fluency, comprehension and without as they say “the Filipino accent”. But how come their HR associates sounds more of the opposite? After they say, “we regret to inform you don’t have the American accent”, how come they hire such individuals that feel all so mighty and superior despite their sorta accents and are grammatically incorrect? Isn’t it a big turn off, really?

On that note again, a nurse friend of mine who’s trying her luck in such industry is very fluent in English but has the “Filipino accent” according to the hiring staff. How come there is such a need for the word “training”, really?! Is just that I wonder why they keep on saying “you don’t have the American accent?” which in the very 1st place, we Filipinos doesn’t have since we’re born with our native Pinoy tongue. I mean, right from the start, we don’t have that American accent unless we were born in an English household, studied abroad, went on the so called several trainings or we already worked in the call center industry for a while and got exposed with such accents, right?! Because we tend to easily adapt, it’s a natural Pinoy instinct. I think they should be really careful in screening people and also putting a tag/label on them. If these call center companies really want someone with “the accent” and don’t need tedious training sessions, perhaps they should advertise their vacancy with a strict caption of “with previous call center only”. You can really do so little, poor guy who even woke up early, dressed up, prepared for the job hunting, only to discover, he isn’t fit for the job simply because they believe you don’t have "the American accent".

I mean, no offense or whatsoever, but I strongly loathe those people who have worked in the call center even just for a while and literally brag off their certain accents even outside the working arena! Hello, grow up, man! Plus, I think they have eaten a lot of bibbo hotdog to be such a competitive individuals. But often than not these bibbo kids are just braggy blabbermouths who end up being the most stupid scumbags in the floor and even outside their corporate worlds. Also I hate those HR executives who belittle “call center virgins”. I think they should encourage the newcomers in such industry rather than make them feel inferior and downright cast a shrug on them and even say “it’s going to be a long hard road for you”. Call it big time sugar coating pep talk, right?! hehehe

At the end of the day, I would want to be proficient in English rather than just having that accent that isn’t spontaneous enough to express their self in the English tongue.

You will really wonder, how come this bisayan accent or grammatically wrong person got hired and not you? How come this slang person who lacks fluency got hired? I really wonder why?! It’s just a thought you know…after all, are these call center people has certain certifications/tests to prove their “expertise” in the English language, huh?! Plus, we live in a professional world regardless of the degree/certifications/compensations we have in your bag of tricks, I strongly believe we should act as professional individuals as possible, even so your work doesn’t fall under the professional schemes/category really. (sorry, but that's the truth)

I know your industry is such “a dog eat dog mantra” but a lil courtesy would not hurt a corporate world,

perhaps…

its just an observation, really…

no hurt feelings... harhar

laters...

2b or 22b ?!?

2008-04-01T20:47:00.015+08:00

“ di ba nurse ka? “ oo, bkit?” eh bkit nand2 ka pa pinas?” “wla lng.” so, san k wrk ngyon?” wla lng rin.”

Ayan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko… palagi na lang ganyan ang mga conversation sa buhay buhay. Minsan iniisip ko napakarami talagang pakialamerang tao sa earth. Pero madalas kung minsan naiisip ko na siguro concern lang sila sa akin lalo na kung mismong sa bibig ng pamilya ko na nanggagaling ang mga salitang iyan.

“yoko na mag nurse! “ at bakit namn? Yoko lng muna.. ano ka ba, dmi nga nagpapakamatay maging nurse lng no. Eh sila yun… eh bkt ikaw? Yoko pa mamatay no! hehehe

Ang gulo talaga ng isipan ko kung minsan… ay hindi pala, madalas magulo ang isip ko lalo na kung ang pangunahing topic of diskusyones ay ang aking buhay karera.
Uy, teka baka isipin nyo isa kong malaking damuho na dakilang tambay simula’t sapul. Hindi naman po. FYI, naranasan ko na rin namang kumita ng pera, maliit at malaki man, pesos at dolyar na rin naman. Naging kasama na rin naman ako sa statistics ng mga pinoy na employed taong 2003-2005 at naging ulirang OFW taong 2005-2006 rin naman. Kaya kahit paano ay naranasan ko na ang buhay propesyonal (daw). Ngunit sa kasalukuyan, mas pinili ko at ng pagkakataon na rin naman na maging dakilang unemployed at hauswife muna sa loob ng mahigit 2 taon lang naman (ehehe). At bakit naman kaya? Aba malay ko…

Kring.kring. "Hello ma, natangap mo na b yun pinadala ko sa banko? Oo, kulang pa nga kz ang baba ng dollar ngyon. Ay ganun b, cge magpapadala nalng po uli ako." (sbay tingin sa wallet kong wala na ni isang singkong duling) patay kang bata ka! tsktsk

Wala naman akong pinagsisisihan sa mga nagging desisyong pang karera ko. Ang sa katunayan nyan, lahat ng mga nangyari at nangyayari sa aking buhay propesyunal ay aking pinagpapasalamat kay Lord. At bakit? natural, ako’y natuto sa mga buhay2 at lalong napapalapit sa kanya… simple lang naman yun di ba…

"Bby, kaw na muna mag aply sa abroad. Bkt namn po? Mailap ata ang swerte ko ngayon eh. Ano ka ba, kala mo lng yun… kala ko lng ba? Eh ikaw ano akala mo? Maling akala… hehehe.. gulo mo bby…”

Kaya ngayon ito ako at nagpapaka dalubhasa sa pag bla-blog, past time ika nga nila. Minsan iniisip ko maging writer na lang o kaya mag aral ng baking at magtayo ng bakeshop, o kaya ibenta na lang ang lahat ng lupain (echos) para may datung. Minsan iniisip ko rin naman na maghanap ng ibang trabaho maliban sa pagiging nars, lalo na ang hirap makabalik sa mga ospitals ngayon at mas lalo mahirap mag apply sa ninais mong "bigating abroad". Hayz. Ang daming yumayaya na magturo ako at maging clinical instructor (ganda sa tenga no) o dili kaya’y humarap sa computer, magsalita ng inglish na may twang sa headset at maging colgrl (hhm, pwede laki rin sahod at petiks2 lang pero yoko nga – no offense), o kaya naman mag volunteer nurse na lang muna (pwede rin kng ganun ako kadakilang pinoy, pero nde eh). pero ang malaking katanungan na nanaiig sa akin ay hindi ang laki ng sweldo o benepisyo o ang klase ng trabaho kundi ang tanong na --- magiging maligaya ba ako doon?!

Ika nga ni fafa piolo ko, I want to be… complete. Actually, complete naman ako… ala kulang sa katawan, sa pag iisip lang siguro meron. Hehehe.. complete rin ang pamilya ko, complete na rin ang puso ko. Siguro lang nde pa ko complete sa puntong karera sa ngayon… hindi pa iyun binabalato ni Lord. Sbi nga nila you cant have everything in just a snap! pero minsan nasasagi sa isipan ko na baka ito naman siguro ang plano ni Lord sa ngayon sa akin… hay life nga naman… kaya ikampay at sabihin… 2b or tutubi!

lil' monsters

2008-03-25T12:34:00.010+08:00

Wifey: “Sino kaya magiging kamuhka ng lil monsters natin?”
Hubby: “Ikaw, gusto ko ikaw!”
Wifey: “Bakit?”
Hubby: “Kasi ang panget na monster ka!”
Wifey: “Hmm, nde mas gusto ko ikaw…”
Hubby: “At bakit?”
Wifey: “Kasi mas panget ka, beh!”
Hubby: “Cge gawa na tyo, pra magka-alaman na oh!”

Those were our exchange of words while watching my 11month old nephew naughtily playing in his playpen. That’s why when we got home, my hubby gathered his old baby pictures and we joyfully imagined how our future babies will look like. It’s always fun and exciting to predict our future. Will our lil angel get my chinky eyes or almond shaped eyes of my hubby, chubby or thin, at the lists goes on...We really never take it as deep cut seriously shitty, though. Its just part of the married life, I guess. We just go on with each passing day, enjoying our married life to the fullest, just the two of us--for now.

It’s been almost 6months, that we’re officially and legally married. But most of my friends can attest to the fact that we don’t act like married couples. They said we’re still the lovey-dovey twosome gf-bf thingy. Honeymoon stage I guess. (winks) Most of them want me to get preggy now even my mother in law. Some of my married friends advised us to not have babies right ahead, after all it’s barely a year of our marriage. It’s again, to each its own. Honestly though, with all the things that’s been happening, we both believe we’re not yet truly ready to be mum and dad soon. We’ve both agreed on it, we want to spend more time with each other. And plan for our future carefully before jumping into a new level called building our lil family. But of course who doesn’t want to have one right, after all, my genes (ahem) our genes (pla,hehe) are too good to be wasted. hehehe

Ultimately, only God knows what His plan is for us, for our marriage and family; whatever it is, we will just leave it all up to Him. (Surrender kay commander sa taas) But for now, we’re very much enjoying our “pulot pukyutan” days. Tsarap! Hehehe kidding aside, it may sound as mababaw as ever but that’s the whole truth and nothing but the naked truth… (winks)

Wifey: “Uhm, yoko pa nga…”
Hubby: “Oo nga, dami pa tayo lakwatsang pupuntahan!”
Wifey: “At dami pa mga jutangs” lol
Hubby: “ Kz magtrabaho ka na nga… lol”
Wifey: “sbi mo yan ha, cge.”
Hubby: “uhm, cge wag na nga, donya!” lol
Wifey: “korak! Labyu…”
Hubby: “labyu,misis ko” sbay kiss lips… sarap!

granny goose

2008-03-24T21:01:00.022+08:00

A week ago, my grandma who’s in a 6month vacation here in Manila, received a frantic overseas call from my uncle in LA delivering a breaking news. He’s going to be a grandpa to his 16 year old 10th grade daughter. My cousin is on her 2nd trimester of pregnancy. Call it a total shocker in his family. A big disappointment, as the words of my grandma echoes in the labyrinths of my eardrums.

Disappointment- The state of being disappointed, adj.- dissatisfaction, nonfulfillment, unfulfillment, frustration, chagrin, thwarted expectations, miscarriage of plans, defeat, failure, lack of success, despondency, displeasure, distress, hope deferred, discouragement, let down, disillusionment, foiling, nonsuccess, mortification, vain expectation, bafflement, disillusion, setback, discontent, blighted hope, dashed hope, balking

Almost 11 months ago to be exact, those were her exact words when she found out that my 22 year old bsn graduate sister was pregnant. And up to now, without the so called RN in my sis’ name, still the stigma remains imprinted in her forehead by my grandma as one of the biggest disappointments in the family.

I maybe perhaps making her A-list of disappointments; for almost 2 years ago, I have failed to fulfill her so-called ultimate dream of earning my 1st million at the age of 25 in a nursing career abroad.

Funny how some people view disappointment big time. Yes, I certainly believe the word disappointment is very subjective but still I think it should be taken as objectively as possible.

I just give a big sigh for I understand the true thinking of the older generations. But I sometimes still can’t help my urge to reason out my principles. Generation gap blinkers in the outfield.

Coz you see, my 75 yr old grandma is a professional woman, a dentist turned government employee, born and raised in a silver spoon in her mouth, a proud mother of 4 lovely kids raised by her own sweat and tears, a patient wife to her ultimate “house-husband”, a very thoughtful grandmother to her 7 unique grandchildren, a superwoman to her numerous nephews and nieces and some 2nd degree grandchildren. Perhaps, she can even be a woman of the century awardee, having all the fulfilled duties and responsibilities given to her back in the good old days. And as they say the long list is on. As a retiree, she has several bank accounts filled with her hard earned paychecks. She travels several countries almost every 6months. And even receives different foreign currencies and material gifts from her children abroad. Literally, enjoying her retirement. Moreover, the gift of love and affection coupled with high level of respect is given to her by all of us, her family. On the other hand, be careful though, she also has loads of skeletons in her closet. That’s why I basically grew up seeing her whole persona. I grew up seeing her as the very responsible mother, sweet and loving granny. A truly happy individual. And that’s why I always question why she grew old like this, becoming a completely, totally, different individual now.

I really do not loathe her, unlike other grandchildren who basically hate their lola’s or lolo’s. I definitely, without a doubt, love her with all my heart. And that’s the reason why I am saddened on how she came to be like such a grouchy granny. I maybe over reacting on some things regarding her (as my hubby would see it). But again, it’s just that I care for her so much, I am greatly affected on matters dealing with my grouchy lola.

She’s not a happy person. She didn’t grow old happily. She’s always grouchy and not calm. I dunno exactly why she came to be like this. Her past life, would certainly not fit to be ending like such. I often tell her and she even knows that her days are numbered; still she isn’t changing even a tiny bit. The world is constantly changing, a person should freely adapt to change, for if not, chaos will come at hand and a stagnant world will exist. Maybe such quote, do not hold true for her.

She doesn’t see the value of letting go of past heart aches and so called disappointments. She do not freely accept changes and destiny of the people around her. She does not open her mind into the new generation now. She does not even see her own state of being happily contented and be solitude in prayer and reflection. When delivering her smorgasbord of litany, she is always self righteous. She always feels perfect on her own little world. Constantly comparing her past "perfect" life with the present "imperfect" life that we're continuously struggling to attain and live in.

Self righteous- Adjective- filled with or showing a conviction of being morally superior, or more righteous than others;hypocritical; smugly virtuous

It’s always difficult to explain certain things to a close minded & self righteous individual. I just extend my ruler of patience with her. I just hope and pray that the good Lord will guide her in achieving her happy old age state. Soon, the sunset will cast upon her. That's why, I'm really praying for her days to be filled with nothing but peace and happiness. And this time, a miracle is what I am praying! Cross fingers… After all, she’s our granny mother of all goose! (winks)

hoppy-easter!

2008-03-23T17:17:00.003+08:00

wishin you a hoppy-easter!

hope you've enjoyed your holy week

and

made some serious reflections!

again, happy easter!

burn, baby burn!

2008-03-19T13:47:00.006+08:00

“Never burn bridges because in a way they have contributed to where you are now.”

Almost 6 yrs ago, I have performed a ritual by the broken hearted. It is the so called “burning ceremony”. Most of us have experienced such phase back in the good old dating world. It only means literally burning all memorabilia of the past. And it was very liberating!

Years ago, I remembered opening my own pandora’s box containing old journals full of heartaches and miseries, aged planner book listing all my different dating rendezvous with side comments, silly love notes, withered rose petal, crumpled movie ticket, long forgotten photos, my lil pink book and the works. As I scorch them, I felt brand new. Back in the days, I would cling to them tightly coz they would aid me to travel back in the past. But it wasn’t at all, therapeutic. The burning process, made me move on into a cleaner slate. It helped me remove all my excess baggage and clutter building inside me. Thus, miraculously, after a few months of my so called burning ritual, love found its way back to me and never left me, giving me my better half now. It really worked back then!

Once again, with the ongoing career crossroad that I’m in; I was surprise to see myself doing the ritual again. I opened my trunk load and removed all the clutter in my portfolio; letting go of materials indicating my frustration, failures, disappointments, headache and even expenses in my career life. Old paper piles from work, old paychecks, failed and expire exam result; int’l job offers and licensure applications, outdated resumes, etc. I face the flaming fire throwing pieces of papers that were once worth a million to me and slowing seeing them turned into nothing but ashes.

I felt relieved coz I let go of it all—the pains of all the wat ifs and maybes, the almost there and almost near, the been there and done that, all the apprehensions, all of it! But I don’t regret anything at all for it helps me to see other doors of opportunities. It was again, a learning experience. Even though that past led me to my present crossroad, still it’s worth the try.

It’s a symbolic way of starting a new career life, again and again. As I leaf thru reading, “Past is past. What we have is only today. The future is nowhere in sight. Start anew by starting with the word today”.

Thus, I’m feeling very hopeful that one fine day, my career will be back on track. And the ritual will again work for me. (sighs)

fanatic review

2008-03-18T13:51:00.014+08:00

I just recently read Brida by Paulo Coehlo. This book was written early 90’s by the author but it was just published and translated just this march 2008.

Another book written in a "trademark Coehlo way". Most of his fanatics would easily enjoy and understand the way Coeho delivers his story, often fiction but mostly based from a true account. Some new readers would easily get jaded and confuse on how he explains his message across the board. But if you have always enjoyed his way of writing, this new installment from the genius master story teller will definitely give certain feedbacks.

Brida is a story of a young girl in her quest for knowledge. Her journey towards magic and her spiritual road will lead her to meeting interesting individuals along the way. They will teach her to discover her real self and her gift. As she struggles to continue her journey, she will find the need to balance her relationships and her desire to keep her inner gift. As written in the book, “Brida is a story of love, passion, mystery and spirituality”. It’s for you to say the final judgment, though.

As a Paulo Coehlo fan, believe it or not-- I didn’t enjoy this book as much as the others. Out of the numerous books he wrote, this is only the 2nd book that i didn't get to enjoy as much as the others whom i loved so dearly. But I still liked the way he delivered his message. Giving credits to few quotable quotes and some additional bits of knowledge regarding some things. It still captures the heart of a true fan like me indeed.

Nevertheless, I am still anticipating a new Coehlo book that will bring me to a big awe, again! (winks)

PS. As I go through my bookshelf, I came to realize that the most recently published books of my other fave authors also didn’t made my A-list. Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic and Baby and Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John, also didn’t gave me the much anticipated awe and sigh. i have yet to check out their new books namely Kinsella's Remember Me? and Sparks' The Choice. Sheesh, what’s wrong with me? Still, I will continue to support their work and be their loyal patrons, as always. (winks)

"palasPAST"

2008-03-17T15:21:00.010+08:00

Yesterday was Palm Sunday. The homily of the priest was very reflective. According to him, our old idea of the palaspas should be thrown in the trash bin and should right here, right now be changed. Old traditions like putting the palm leaf in the altar offering foods and insenso along side with other feng shui lucky charms (whose Gods are you praying by the way daw? isnt it confusing, bka lumagpas ka daw sa blissful heaven or good karma), the idea of hanging the palaspas in the window or door to drive away bad spirits (eh paano naman daw makakalabas ang nasa loob na bad spirit rin daw), the idea of burning the palaspas during Easter Sunday (eh pwede rin naman dw mag burn kahit nde easter), the idea of patting the blessed palm leaf on your body (pra feeling mo blessed holiness ka na daw). He delivered his homily quite lively and in a funny way. Seriously though, all these used and old traditions according to him are mere false knowledge on the real meaning of a Palm Sunday.

He stressed out the value of reflection and contemplation in one’s life, as well as the daily life of a Pinoy. He gave a simple message loud and clear that everyone should be happily and peacefully observing the Lenten season in ways that is acceptable to God’s eyes. Be it spending time with your family some where or in the solitudes of your home. Whatever way you choose, do not forget that CROSS, for that is the true message of the holy week. Be reflective and be thankful, for the cross has been served to the whole of mankind. Love. Reflect. Gratitude.

Again, have a blessed holy week!

holy greetings

2008-03-17T07:36:00.009+08:00

holy week?

its maybe a time to relax and unwind for most of us,

but always remember spending it with your loved ones is a must

but more importantly, taking time to be with the ---

LORD for reflection is the priority!

have a blessed and reflective holy week guys!

blog of d buwan

2008-03-10T22:50:00.013+08:00

thanks to Caca for this tag award!

but most importantly for always taking time in reading my posts & all your comments are highly appreciated!

thanks again, fwen caca!

now, my top 3 blog of the month goes to blog fwens:

Jayme, Tessa and Yankaboodles

viral-taggin on d move...

2008-03-10T22:06:00.004+08:00

Thanks to Jayme for this viral tag post...

Cut and paste the following starting here.
I have randomly selected 5 of you below to be tagged and I hope that you will similarly publish this post in your blog. You will have to tag 5 other bloggers and just keep adding on to the list. (Do not replace, just keep on adding! Yes we hope it will be a long list!) It’s real easy! Tag others and see your Technorati Authority increase exponentially!
The benefits of Viral Linking:
- One of the fastest ways to see your technorati authority explode!
- Increase your Google PageRank fast
- Attract large volume of new traffic to your site
- Build your community
- Make new friends!

The Strategist Notebook, Link Addiction, Ardour of the Heart, When Life Becomes a Book, The Malaysian Life, Yogatta.com, What goes under the sun Roshidan’s Cyber Station,Sasha says,Arts of Physics,And the legend lives,My View, My Life,A Simple Life,Juliana RW,The Callalily Space,Petra,Summer in Blue,Confessions of an Army Wife,Bless’ Sanctuary,Happy Life,Living @ Evergreen State,La Place de Cherie,Chez Francine,Le bric a brac de Cherie Little Peanut, Pea in a Pod, The Creative In Me,Me and Mine,Pinay Mommy,Expressions from the Heart,TeacherJulie, Sweetbites by Bang, Paul, Toni and Lance - Bridging the Distance, Our Growing Family, The Uncensored life of me, My Untamed World, Yan-Ple’s Party Shop, Childstar Band, My Scrappy Side, BLOGGERHAPPY.COM, Fun.Fierce.Fabulous, Nap Time Rocks!, All Jayme, Barefoot Alchemist

Sharing this to: Caca, Tessa, Bj, Twinks and Yankaboodles

tic tac, boom!

2008-03-05T22:17:00.007+08:00

Clocks tickin’ and its insanely freakin’!
Don’t you feel annoyed to the sound of a ticking clock in the middle of the night when you’re trying to get some good night sleep?

That’s one of the reasons why I always switch off any nearby clock in my bed. If I needed some alarm to wake me up , I will turn to my old but reliable mobile phone or better yet ask someone whose kind enough (like my mom and my hubby) to wake me up from deep fried slumber. It just gets on my nerve, all the time. I can’t concentrate and focus my energy into dozing off to sleep.

On another note, perhaps my quirk has its counterpart psyche reaction. Pardon my ideas, its part of my idiosyncrasy! Hehe whadda heck!

Well, I dunno, but maybe it’s also a way to tell me that indeed my clocks tickin so fast that I tend to ignore the present situation at hand because of some issues. I’m basically referring to my so-called career life crisis. It’s a big dilemma and that’s my ultimate nemesis.

The truth of the matter is: I’m in a crossroad. It’s a big challenge for me to resolve on what I really want to do with my career. The present road shows comfort zone yet with many obstacles along the way; with all that I’ve been thru professionally, literally broken into unimaginable pieces. Despite of it all, I’m still clinging on to my dreams tightly though with a fainted light ahead. And I still believe that a miracle will happen along the course of my profession/vocation. On the other road, it shows new unchartered territory. Will this other passion turned hobby be the next career move to take or I may be getting excitedly jaded with the new adventure it offers?

Will I stick with my old cheese or find a new one? It’s constantly changing. It’s a make or break thingy. Perhaps I should just throw the clock mid air and see what happens… im such a crazy biatch! Hehehe

"march" my word!

2008-03-05T22:03:00.010+08:00

March is graduation month. Reminiscing good old grad days both hs and college makes me kinda sentimental. I "certainly- definitely- absolutely" miss those days.

During all my grad days, all my loved ones are there to support and witness my passing of age. They came to see me walked up the stage with or without honors or the popular tangible medals. They are always cheering me and proudly clapping their hands for a job well done. I guess, in a way, my parents are very proud of my achievement as a student back then. Modesty aside, I was never a pain in their butts when I was in school. I was always giving them good grades for I know its worth all their effort to send me to school. Though sometimes, it disappoints them whenever their expectations aren’t met like that of graduation with the so called –laude and honorable etc... nevertheless, i graduated, should i say, with flying colors!

When graduation comes, farewells and good byes are an added icing in the cake. Friendships gained are bound to be tested by time and distance.

I just gave a shrug. For I know, graduation isn’t the end of it all. All the medals, honors and good grades don’t guarantee you a good life ahead. When you’re out in the real world, everything is in a clean slate. And I know that, because I have been there & done that part!

So, to all the graduates, I salute to you a new life ahead. But always keep the memories tuck inside your heart. Treasure the true friendships gained, for it’s a very different out there. Most importantly, never forget the values and lessons learned, coz it will always come handy.
Congrats, graduates of 2008! Salute!

hapi me! hapi u?

2008-03-03T16:38:00.017+08:00

Cadbury’s chocolate's logo: CHOOSE HAPPINESS.
Bucketlist movie line header: FIND JOY.
I love their very catchy yet simple phrase... Introspection hits my crazy mind.

What is happiness and joy?

According to wikipedia,
“Happiness is emotion in which one experiences feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy. This definition is, however, a synonymous one. A more clarified one is almost impossible to conceive due to the capacity by which a human can allocate the correct words into an appropriate and meritable sentence that would describe happiness. It has also been compared to "a warm gun".
“Joy is an emotion of great happiness.”

In these time and age, few people only appreciate true and simple happiness. If you don’t have fame and fortune, you’re not licensed to be in the happy and joy lala-land. Most of the time, I always read commentaries on how to be happy and how to find joy in life. Many people feel that having lots of money to buy their wants could make them happy or even happier. I will not be a hypocrite saying that yes, in a way, having lots of money to buy whatever you desire, makes one happy. A nice car, a flawless skin, gazillion bank accounts, superb career, trophy relationships, fabulous wardrobe and dreamy house - makes one happy. And the list goes on, and off. But honestly, it is not the ultimate objective of my life now.

For the past years, I have been literally, living a life I have never dreamt of having. Way back, I see myself earning millions in a career abroad and being the so called career woman. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever view myself as a family woman or a fulltime wife, perhaps. But what my life path leads me is, HERE. A life path I am traveling on --- it may not be as grandiose as i have planned but it is a road worth heading on. It is a place where I find my solitude amidst the busy demands of daily life. I find peace to where I am now; it’s a HoMe for me. As they say, home is where the heart is. Maybe I’m living a plain life even a boring and absurd life for some. But for me, it is a simple yet fulfilled one where my true happiness is. It is my "HoMe", indeed.

One of the ultimate question is, what makes up your happiness?

And my simple-ultimate answer to that sums up by: SUPREME GOD, LOVED ONES and MYSELF (no further deep explanation needed. BOW)

if i say, hapi me! hapi u? can you truly say, you're happy?!? (juz a thought i guess)

laters...

just a nanny-nurse 4 now

2008-02-25T23:43:00.003+08:00

bawal magkasakit!

a very popular commercial tagline. indeed, it is very true. the past few days, i have been in unofficial duty as a nurse on call- to no less than my dearest nephew. he was nursing a viral infection coupled with high fever and lotsa crying episodes with spitting of medicines. he's barely 1 year old, 10 months to be exact.

you see, im really not a kid lover type esp lil ones. maybe thats the reason why im not a pedia nurse or watsoever. i dont have the patience to take care of them. i hate their cries/tantrums and the lists goes on. but i guess when it comes to bloodline, you'll really change it all. and for the past months, i have been the official nanny cum nurse of my dearest nephew. and i hafta say, im really lovin it! (smiles)

its really difficult taking care of lil babies, they are so fragile and so tender. its also very difficult to see them sick and weak. imagine, im just plain aunt, what more if im the biological mother. im really flabbergastered.

as his pediatrician said, "eventhough you're in the medical profession also, when it comes to your child, youll get panic and its a different ball game." true. thats what happened to my sister when she took care of her sick child. but maybe again, a maternal instinct dictates the motherly care and love to flow in her veins.

hmm, then again it hit me like a thunderbolt at the back of my frigin neck... do i have that maternal instinct? am i ready to become a mother? as i scan through the process of motherhood and feel the deepest desires of my heart. i came to asked myself again the same question i had several months ago. and again, the ultimate answer for now is... im just happily contented on being just a wife and not a mum--- for now. (winks)

laters

tag awards on d roll...

2008-02-24T21:49:00.015+08:00

Thanks to Janesse for this. It's so nice to know that friendships can evolve even through blogging and that they see the kindness and goodness in you. I am really touched!

Its my 1st "tag award" and im really surprised that few people take time into visitin my blog! Now, its my turn to pass it to them...

Jayme, Eva, Caca, Kookie, Twinkletoe,Joice, Tessa, Anino

Special thanks to Twinks for this BFF Gold Award (my 2nd award hehehe)

thanks again guys... kip on bloggin and playin tags... laters...

a poem for hubby

2008-02-20T20:48:00.003+08:00

i love you for just the whole you
i love you for being the man that is you
i love you for all the things money can’t buy
i love you for the priceless gift of love you’ve given me

i love the way you sneeze twice in a row,
and the way it smelled
i love the way you push and tickle me down the bed,
even though i fall and stumbled
i love the way you look at me, every time i get mad
i love the way you scared me, every time you hide

i love the way you curse people while drivin,
and let me honk while cruisin.
i love the way you react while givin you foot massage
i love the way you do things on your own,
you’re like my superman i know.
i love the way you smile with those white big grin,
it makes me melt and win.

i love the lil things you do,
i know its more precious than money do
i love the sillyness in you,
i know its the kid at heart in you.

i love the kindness that you show,
in all my craziness at tow.
i love the patience that you bring,
in all my endless singing,
i love the humor you spill,
when im about to shout and kill
i love the rock in my ring,
and baby gimme more bling. hehehe

i just loved every single atom of your existence
i simply loved you for who you are
i love the man you are
and i love the man you’ve become

so, baby come and listen as i say,
come and listen if you may,
as i whisper to you this words...
i love you more now and always.

ps. jus wanna share a "poem" i made for my hubby. im not really good with poems but at least iv tried, plus its a nice way to greet--- belated happy 54monthsary and 4wed monthsary bebe! luv u always...

laters...

dating bandwagon

2008-02-19T15:32:00.009+08:00

“ buti nalng pinagtagpo na tyo ni Lord, noh!” words blurted out by my hubby while walking the congested downhill session road. Perhaps maybe he saw the many dating lovebirds shattered around. We candidly discussed the ups and downs of dating arena, the loops and curves of past relationships and the so called ultimate search for “the one”. Funny at this time, it still amazes me on how the very good God bought us together in this journey. After almost 54 months (and still counting…), still the burst of new love continues to smell as brand new.

Last night I was reading few of my single friends’ blogs dating dilemma and also this morning my best friend’s predicament about jumping to the dating bandwagon as well. The bottom line—they think their all a hopeless case. Ooppsss… nope they are not!

Almost 5years ago, I was also in that same verge of breaking down when I almost gave up my hopes of finding the so called Mr. Right or Mr. Left or whatsoever. And then, like a thief in the night, God gave me my better half. And there was no turning back. No regrets, as they all say.

So, to my single beautiful friends, here some unsolicited advice to jumping into the dating bandwagon….

*When you are a whole person, with or without a man, you are well loved and satisfied. Being with someone, only adds cherry to your ice cream. It is truly important to understand that loving yourself takes a lot of courage than loving another human being. The love inside you grows so deep that it will help you radiate that aura to the universe, telling the world of your love. Go ahead, love yourself first.

*Windows of opportunities are everywhere. Be not afraid to experience it all. But also be cautious in what you do. Carefree attitude is a must. Collect and select. Discard and next. U go girl!

*No expectations. No solicitations. Don’t expect too much from each other. Try to be as open minded as possible. Remember, dating is just phase one of it all. Enjoy the experience but also don’t waste time if you don’t see any potential/chemistry.

*Still, it is better to loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Love is such an intricate web. It’s just there ready to be experience, if you only allow yourself to let it come in.

Well, I’m no love doctor or guru. I’m no angel or a devil in love. I had a colorful past painted sometimes with black and white. I stumbled and fall. I was once broken into unimaginable pieces. And I was once a hopeless case… but with the faith and hope I had back then, look where I am now?!?

That’s why I always say, “habang may buhay, may pag asa at habang may lalaki+babae=pag ibig o tutut… joke! Charos!” (bwahaha) As long as you’re happy, regardless of your status, suportahan taka, gurlfrens! hehehe

laters...

aWe-ccidentally...

2008-02-18T21:33:00.046+08:00

They said it’s a big time place and a must be café if you’re a sweet tooth. They are very famous for their fondue and other desserts. Lil’ did we know that its not only a good dessert place that we’ve accidentally fell in love... It’s that little quaint resto located in the Mile Hi center, Camp John Hay, Baguio City called LITTLE JOHN'S. It is where you could paint and doodle with crayons wyl waiting for your food lyk that in burgoo, manila. And you could also check out framed photos of sketches made by customers hanged on the wall.

Over weekends, my hubby and I went up cold north to spend some time together. It was (believe it or not), his 1st time in the summer capital of the Philippines. So, I kinda acted like his ultimate tour guide. Anyways, as I was saying… lil john’s baby back ribs is superb--served with hot rice and coleslaw as a side dish, with a whooping 120pesos as a tag price. One cannot resist the mouthwatering temptation. Im no big food connoisseur/critic. But hey I also have great taste, I may say. So, if you’re by any chance in baguio, better try lil’ johns’ baby back ribs and experience it yourself.

But what also accidentally caught my attention more importantly than lil john's itself was an amazing sight. It was an old couple eating lunch while sharing fondly of their stories, we even heard them giggling. Maybe it was because of the post vday spirit, that made me all so caught up with the scene. nevertheless, old couples always melt my heart in awe.

Isn’t it nice to see two old people walking side by side and talking intently to each other. The romance of their youth and the heightened lovebugs may have faded, but the love is still growing deep inside through their communication, that is tested by time. It only testifies that the word forever or lasting love still exists. Let’s just say, you’ve found not only an ardent lover but a companion for life.

As I secretly observe the two love birds from a distance and kinda eavesdrop on their conversation, my hubby just hold my hand, gave me a big grin and said, “ganyan rin tyo pagdating ng araw, kya lng mas uukod-ukod na groovy lola kpa jan”But ultimately, it’s always nice to end up with not just a lover and husband but a companion for life! Im sooo damn lucky!!! hehehe (sighs)

ps... must be the infection of lovebugs in baguio. :)
laters...

lovapalooza

2008-02-13T21:42:00.021+08:00

this year, unilever and the people behind the much awaited close up's loovapalooza opted to celebrate the season of love in a different and new twist. they organized a more intimate and by invitation only party at the NBC tent, Fort Bonifacio. yesterday, a pre valentine event for 100 lucky couples ready to get frosty cool and share the warmth of the night with their lovers was in a very simple yet gliterry night, i may say. for the couples went home with a very big surprise, not much of the freebies and overflowing drinks and buffet, with couple of performers to rock the night away. although, it doesnt look as grandiose unlike before but still, it ended with a big bang bling!!!

hosts tim yap & sam oh! hale (others-barbie &rivermaya) vodka station lovers crowd

the big surprise--my diamond necklace sealed w/a kiss!

so, next year lets just wait and see again what will close up be cooking in the hart season, its always a surprise! share the love guys! happy valentines day to all!!!

laters...

"sonnet 17"

2008-02-11T22:13:00.000+08:00

Sonnet 17

by Pablo Neruda - 1960

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as certain dark things are loved,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries

hidden within itself the light of those flowers,

and thanks to your love, darkly in my body

lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you simply, without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,

so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close...

jz wanna share some love stuffs... liked this one cz it simply describes one's unconditional love.

laters...

courtside agendas

2008-02-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

Do you believe in courtship? Maybe most of us pinays still want it the conventional and traditional way of courting. It runs with the tradition and our conservative culture. Perhaps the idea of being pursued thoroughly and in length is the best way to go. It is the “getting to know stage” coupled with romance that tickles the heart of so many sucker for love.

If you ask me I honestly, do not believe in courtship especially the long ones. Maybe im one of those few liberal pinays whose perspective have changed over time.

When I was still not so young, I had my fair share of the courtship-baduy days. I also tend to believe that I enjoyed the idea of courtship--- a hopelessly romantic scenario of a courtship. It really tickles your heart, gets smitten with your lover and dreams of your own fairy tale.

You see, sometimes the problem with courtship is that-- it’s always best foot forward manner. You tend to get jaded by the prospective lovers’ real intentions, most of the time I gez. Oftentimes, when you finally gave the long awaited sweet “yes” and become a couple; you’ll be able to understand that first impression was a partially a lie. I have been surrounded by guy friends and most if not all of them, will agree that courtship is letting the girl of your dreams see the good side of you. You’re on your best self, as they say. So, where’s the sincerity of it? All the dramas and romance will boil down to being a couple. After which, you’ll say now what?!? Almost 50% of I know, you had a “perfect courtship days” ended up with a not so perfect relationship. I dunno why? But most probably its because you expect too much from the person, right from the start or maybe it wasn’t really meant to be.

Well, I’m no love guru or whatsoever… I just think, long overdue and over rated courtship isn’t anymore applicable. Hmm, or maybe its just my liberal brains, for crying out loud! hehehe

ps. in lieu of the hart season, topics wil b abt love/relationship etc. share d luv! hehehe

laters...

oh my gobyerno!

2008-02-08T22:10:00.000+08:00

I have nothing against chairman BF’s campaign of clearing the streets against vendors. It’s actually a big help for the motorists and commuting public. It makes the streets look tidy and organized. And also, lessens the monsters lurking around town. But what concerns me is the way they do their clearing operations… I think, it is a big bull****!

Have you seen on the news how they treat these hardworking yet illegal vendors? How they crush their goods like fruits/veggies with their feet, throw the foods in the streets, use violence and not negotiate properly, even confiscate their goods which are even utang from whoever in order to earn a living?!? These MMDA clearing operators seems to feel their Gods of the streets, it seems to me that they don’t have respect to these lower working classes. They should keep in mind that they are not criminals, but how come they are treated as one and even as trash? They are illegal yes, but they are not fugitives or corrupt officials, they are simply working their ass off, even though they are tagged as “illegal vendors”. MMDA should formulate a more humane approach during their operations.

Still, mas marangal pa ang ginagawa nila kesa sa mga corrupt officials ng gobyernong ito!

Yun lng…

ps.

*jdv got busted off his ass as the speaker of the house? and plans to divulge everything he knows about the GMA govt. sour graping or jz vindication? as one said, better be late than never. hehe
*zte nbn star witness jun lozada... a brave patriotic man ready to spill it all for the sake of the country... and plus a very popular line he delivered about being a pilipino really gave me goosebumps and seems all was moved to tears!
*will cover ups by the govt be next? hold on... brace yourself for more of such controversies...

hay pinoy nga naman....bow!!!

greetings for the day!

2008-02-06T14:13:00.000+08:00

its ash wednesday today!

its not only the insigna of ash in our forehead that's important

but reflection and prayer!

have a blessed ASH WEDNESDAY!

-------------0000000000-------------

kung hei fat choi!

hapi chinese new year to all, as well.

so, grab tikoy to share with your loved ones and follow traditions.

enjoy the festivities, mga chinoy!

laters...

hart month, again!

2008-02-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

Hart month is here again. The whole town is literally painted with bloody red. Love bugs hit each romantic nerve and it wants to make you itch. Cupid’s arrows striking the hearts of the so-called hopelessly romantic souls.

Why do people give such a big fuss with v-day? Maybe it’s because tradition dictates us to adapt with the culture that has been there for ages. Honestly, call me crazy/killjoy or whatsoever, but I don’t really have the super uber to d max love spirit during such occasion. I don’t make such a big deal during v-day. Hey dont get me wrong, but im also a sucker for romance but I think vday celebs are such an overkill and absurd ones.

It’s simply because most people act insincere and pretentious. They are in a way forced to act as romantic as possible. Because if they didn’t follow the norm, they are not in or they are even called ruthless cold hearted biatch. People only parade their sentiments during a pre-dated timeframe. After which, what’s left?

Don’t they realize that just like xmas and other red letter day, vday should be treated as if it is an everyday basis. Because if they see it in such ideals, everyone will feel loved and valued. Why not do it everyday instead, it is more genuine in that way, right?

Keep in mind that with or without an occasion, you should always share the love that you have for your loved ones. Because that’s how it should be… spread the love, always and forever!

laters...

jazz a thought...

2008-02-04T16:14:00.000+08:00

Does congress really hafta spend a whooping 50 million pesos budget over the so called state of the art monitoring system that claims to make their jobs in the session hall easier? They said it will make their voting system be more organized, systematic and faster plus it will also monitor their attendance in congress. Do you think it is a reasonable thing to do?

With the growing number of homeless and hungry pinoys, declining education status, deprived health care system, poverty, corruption, poor economy, and the lists goes on…do you think this is the right and timely project to do?

Would you be happy to see these statesmen whom you voted doing such jobs/projects? Instead of throwing away millions of pesos over this so-called techie system inside the session halls, why not spend it over worthy projects that will benefit a simple pinoy who is isang kayod isang tuka.

This government doesn’t really have a soul. Personally, I think they should be treated as trash because that’s how they treat a common pinoy as well. As the song says… R-E-S-P-E-C-T … they should be singing this but I don’t think it exists in their vocabulary!

Too bad, poor Philippines! Poor Pinoys like us but lucky ba****ds in the govt! tsktsk

laters...

unfair daw

2008-02-03T11:59:00.000+08:00

Umagang txt ng isang kaibigan. Tila nagpapahiwatig ng mga pagmumuni- muni sa araw. Sabi nya sa txt, “Tama nga si Bob Ong… mahirap masanay sa mga bagy na pwede namang wala sa buhay mo.” Nakakatuwa nga naman diba, tila totoo nga… ano nga ba ang nakasanayan natin na pwede namn wala sa buhay natin? Mga luho sa buhay, malamang.

Ngayong umaga rin sa sermon ng pari sinabi niya na,

“We should feel blessed despite the difficulties and trials

that we are submerged into this life.”

Simple lang ngunit rock ika nga nila. Hehehe Kanina rin may isang babae akong katabi at puro reklamo ang sinasabi kesyo ganito at kesyo ganyan. Mga simpleng bagay na gingawang problema. At nagbitaw pa siya ng salitang,

“ shocks, life is so kaka unfair!” (taray ng lola ko diba?!)

Minsan naiisip ko at kinikwestiyon ko ang mga nangyayari sa aking buhay karera, ngunit minsan mas nananaig ang pasasalamat dahil sa napakaraming bagay. Tulad ng mga pagkakataon na matuto at mahulog, na kumakain pa rin ako ng halos labis sa tatlong beses sa isang araw, may magandang bahay na tinutuluyan, may hinihigang kama sa malamig na gabi, may mga damit na sinusuot, may kaunting pera na pambili ng mga bagay2 at may pamilyang walang kupas na nagmamahal at sumusuporta. Ang kahalagahan ng pamilya at pagmamahalan. At ang sinasabing peace of mind na hindi nabibili ng anuman at ng kung sino man. Minsan kasi hindi natin nakikita ang mga simpleng bagay na dapat natin ipagpasalamat at masabing,

“we’re blessed.”

Hay buhay… ganyan tlga minsan nasa harapan mo na ang mga leksyon, kulang nlng ika’y batukan at sabunutan at sabihin .. hoy….gising! hehehe

Kaya kyo (lalo na sa babaeng katabi ko knina hehehe), kung minsan nararamdaman nyo na “life is so unfair”, pumunta ka sa gbi sa kahabaan ng UN ave o kaya sa Baclaran makikita mo ang napakaraming homeless na nakahiga sa malamig na kalsada, pumunta ka sa mental makikita mo ang madaming baliw na lalong nababaliw dahil walang pamilyang sumusuporta, dumalaw ka sa may mga sakit sa ospital na nag aagaw buhay, tignan mo ang buhay scavenger, o simpleng lumabas ka lang sa kawalan ng mundo, magmasid, makinig, makiramdam at makikita mo na totoo na unfair ang buhay para sa kanila at masasabi mong,

“ shocks, life isn’t unfair for you!”

Yun lng..laters…

jackpot bargain

2008-01-31T21:02:00.001+08:00

I slept late this morning and woke up early as well. I had a bad headache, probably lack of sleep. I had to go back to my alma mater to pick up some long overdue requested forms. So, with my heavy feet and with all the rants, I literally drag myself there only to discover it was indeed my lucky day to hit a jackpot.

Surprisingly, they have a mini book fair scattered around quadri-centennial park. And with a few pesos left in my pocket, I had to buy something even if I have to literally walk home.hehehe They were really good bargain buys ranging from 10 pesos to 100 pesos. Plus, they are still in very good condition and not 2nd hands. Although they were few good titles left, still some are really good buys. I’m always happy to find good bargain books; it’s a stress reliever for me. (sigh)

I did go home quite empty handed but my happiness overloaded. (naks)

Laters…

"sweetbliss"

2008-01-30T18:23:00.000+08:00

I am a desperate baker. I love to bake. I would love to be trained by a professional pastry chef extraordinaire and get my certification soon. I've learned to bake only in the confines of our kitchen with my handy dandy notepads and several baking cookbooks. equipped with my love for foods, a few pieces of important tools and gadgets. It’s always a trial by error and experimental basis. And thank God, most of the time, its always, I may see,

a success!

Then boom,

the birth of my very own "sweetbliss baked goodies".

So, to all… watch out for "sweetbliss baked goodies" will hit theater soon. so, sit down and relax and grab a goodies of your choice and enjoy! Hehehe….

laters...

nars ku po, nay ku po!

2008-01-29T21:58:00.000+08:00

“Knowledge can be learned, skills can be trained but the attitude of a nurse is innate.” Nursing is a vocation rather than a high paying profession as others, may see it. It echoes like simple as it sounds yet it is by nature true.

These were the words that I heard from a speaker during my IV therapy update course last week. And just a couple of days ago, I was reading a blog by a frustrated nursing student on why student nurses are always seen in the malls strolling with their white uniform and not seen in the confines of their respective hospital duty or classroom lectures. The blogger goes on by stating her perspective as a nursing student at present generation. Almost everyday, as I turn on my tv in a morning show, I can’t help but wonder why the hell do I see these nursing students clad in their white duty uniform accompanied by their respective clinical instructors be doing in an early morning show dancing their butts off in front of national television to the tune of locomotion song. Isn’t it downright crazy and brutally demeaning?!? Should they be drag to their respective clinical assignments in the hospital and learning their basic nursing care?!?

Hey, I have nothing against the show. I myself get drowned with the chismax and the “last song syndrome” of the show. yes, and its purely entertainment. But poor nursing studs and the CI’s who got jaded by a minute or so of so-called fame or exposure in the boobtube. Honestly, I would not be as a furious monster now, if it only happened once. But literally, almost every single day I see such nursing studs from different schools being exposed to such thingy? Is this their immersion program for nursing studs nowadays? Is this the plight of the nursing education now? Clearly with the dropping numbers of successful board passers, complaints in the hospital care management plus increasing number of incident reports of newly grad nurses, it directly correlates to the problem. Is this what we call the “world class professional pinoy nurses of the future”?!?

With the growing number of wannabe nursing schools and even long standing universities hiring unqualified clinical instructors with entrepreneurial deans, we can clearly say that the nursing education has become a business!

Oftentimes, I share my sentiments to my CI friends who are in the “passion of educating future nurses”, to at least be not just educators/mentors but advocators for spreading the passion and heart of nursing. To instill to their students the grave value of their course, not just for the heck of passing or for the future monetary benefits.

But what intrigues me is that, more often than not, my CI friends don’t have a choice for they are under dictatorship of their respective schools. With the growing number of entrepreneur monsters lurking in the different nursing schools, the term failing a student doesn’t apply but rather “don’t fail any student or else…” applies to all. These are factual demands straight from the horse’s mouth (as they say), that were given to them in order to maintain high enrollees. Even though, my CI friends believed that their students even doesn’t deserve to have a passing 75% grade.

On the other hand, most of the nursing students nowadays clearly don’t know what they are getting themselves into. Most of them do not value their course and do not see the greater responsibilities ahead of them. They don’t take the initiative to learn and be trained. More importantly they don’t have the attitude and passion to become a nurse. They clearly do not see that life is at stake here, the future of their patient’s health is in one way or another, in their hands. Life itself, literally from womb to tomb. That’s the whole picture. To date, I only see quite a few individuals who really has their passion for the nursing course that they are into. Because if truly, I am wrong with my crazy perspectives and insights, then why the hell do I see future nurses to be in such a big trouble, huh?!

(Big sigh) laters…

wats in a nAmE?

2008-01-29T11:26:00.001+08:00

Why in the world did I name my blog
barefoot alchemist?

barefoot – lacking a natural or usual cover like that of wearing no shoes or stockings

alchemist – someone who transmute gold or miraculous power of transmuting something common into something precious, the creation of a panacea or the elixir of life.

honestly, I chose the name mainly because these two words are associated with two of my fave things in the world. barefoot came from the popular lifetstyle network and cookbook author ina garten’s barefoot contessa. I liked her bcz I wnna be like her someday, sharing my passion in cooking, inside my beautiful house and sharing it wid my better haf. (hehehe) While the alchemist came from my super duper ever fave book by my equally fave author Paulo coehlo’s the alchemist. No futher explanation needed. (bow)

But by its simple meaning, I find the need to expand myself in further discovering the name of my blog--- barefoot alchemist.

I am a barefoot alchemist. A person bare to face the path of discovering life.

When you’re barefoot, you’re feet are planted firmly on the ground, w/o any protection -- no expensive shoes, no latest flipflops, no funky boots, no sheer socks/stockings or whatsoever. It lets you discover the roughness of the road ahead, the slippery floor, the fine sands between your toes, the cold splash of the wave, the smoothness of the hard marbled tiles. It lets you feel the joy and the pain of your traveled path, in the simplest yet truest nature. On the other hand, when you’re your own alchemist it makes you transform simple things into precious things. It makes you see life in a different perspective. You see your simple and common life and transform it into your own gold-like treasures.

That’s why I’m a barefoot alchemist. I am discovering my path. Letting myself be burned, bruised, stumbled and fall, stand up, move on and appreciate life as it flows into my own wavelength and find my destiny in this place called humanity.

Thus, I am indeed a

tomasino

2008-01-28T23:08:00.000+08:00

Go uste! Go uste! Go 3x, go uste! I can vividly remember those days. College days in the University of Santo Tomas. Yep, I’m a proud tomasino class 2002 nursing. (Ahem).

I suddenly got sentimental and memories came rushing back and forth when I went back to my alma mater yesterday. As I looked around, everything seems quite new, elegant, grandeur, and more exciting. Back in the late 90’s, UST campus isn’t like what it is today. When I entered UST- College of Nursing, I wasn’t really sure whether I would want to be a nurse, I had different plans way back. But then I ended up, loving the course and became a full pledged thomasian nurse. And as they say, the rest was history.

UST became my 3rd home. It gave me a truckload of treasure box to keep, life lessons learned, even love lost and found, and of course knowledge and skills packed in my good old handy bag. Coupled with the baha days I’ve encountered in UST. It all completes the whole experience of being a thomasian.

I can vividly remember those days when we used to stroll around the campus in our white nursing uniform with big books in our hands or sometimes walking around the hospital with our duty uniforms. The ever popular Tinoko park, is where we usually hang out before the class starts and doodle some copied assignments. It was even a place where I had my rendezvous with my ex before. Funny! Anways, we also had our share of the catwalk-- where stories, chikas and even last minute cramming for an exam happens. The batcave is where we used to smoke our lungs out during a hectic and stressful day or just for the heck of it. The ever cold and quiet med library is also place where we pretend to study but in reality is a sleeping arena for us. Whereas the central library, is a haven for us, not only for its vast collection of academic books and periodicals that helped us a great deal during thesis days but most especially for the free internet usage. We would rush our way to the coop canteen to buy some yummy fishballs and French fries to give our hungry stomach a little satisfaction. Plus they also allow our packed baons inside. Then sidetrips to mang sto. tomas for a yummy ice cream! For lunch, the ever popular dapitan street houses not only the best food but cheap student meals that will surely satisfy once craving. Tita’s is my kada jologs place where we eat home cooked and affordable meals and get bumped into some varsity players leaving up in the dorm. The ever popular Almer’s shares you with a luscious and hearty sizzling meals with the yummy mashed potato side dish plus the popular smell that sticks in our uniform all day long! Hehehe dapits is where post classes inuman sessions happens. Oops! Hey, college life isn’t complete without the booze, buzz, boinks and the works. hehehe Plus, who would forget the festivities of the paskuhan days and other campus celebrations.

As I walked the facades of the campus, I have realized that UST became a big part of my life. For my life experiences wouldn’t be as rewarding, if not for the memories I had in here. UST witnessed my 1st love and heartache. UST gave me some of my success and even downfalls. UST taught me the positive and negative aspects of independent college life. UST gave me new friendships that will last a lifetime. UST mold me into becoming a professional individual packed with knowledge and skills. In my 4 years stay in the college plus 2 years hospital work, UST saw me spurt into an individual ready to conquer the world.

I can still smell the good old days but is slowly fainting into reality. As I head back home, I saw a slogan posted all over the campus that truly describes my sentiment and it says, “Proud to be thomasians at 400!” Yes, I am truly indeed proud… (ahem)

bsn class 2002 sec 3, catwalk days

tinoko days, protocol days

bac mas days, duty days

ps. miss you all guys... hayz, laters....

my cup of tea

2008-01-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

i love tea. eventhough, my doctors (ahem) discourages me to drink one. still, i cant cut the habit out. i love yellow, green and earl grey tea. i love them with a lil touch of sugar and sometimes with milk. i cant go on a day without a tea, same goes with coffee.

Drink to your health, as they say! Tea of any kind has been associated with good health since ancient times especially in the asian regions and modern research is finding the health benefits we get from the cup of tea. it was stated that tea is preventive supplement from a simple cold to the vast topic of cancer. and as a health professional, i want to share with you some of the info i gathered in the web as i drink my cup of fave tea.

Tea is currently being studied for its reported benefits on:ü Enhancing immune functionü Lowering LDL cholesterol levelsü Increasing HDL cholesterol levelsü Reducing blood pressureü Thinning the bloodü Reducing the risk of a heart attackü Lowering the risk of strokeü Reducing the risk of cancerü Boosting longevityü Aiding digestionü Preventing dental cavities and gingivitisü Aiding bone density for post-menopausal womenü Aids in losing weight

If you are interested in learning more about the health benefits of tea and you're a tea-lover like me, here's a link that i found very informative.

http://www.revolutiontea.com/health-benefits.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_benefits_of_tea

http://www.2basnob.com/health-benefits-of-tea.html

laters... lets all drink to that... cheers!

revisited

2008-01-22T21:30:00.000+08:00

i was going through some of my personal journals which i also published in my old blogs. i wanna share some of my favorite scribbles to all. Plus, some of the topics are kinda bugging my crazy mind right now.

so, the next few posts are republished here from my previous blogs entitled mother hen, radical sabatical and biatch crisis.

njoy... laters....

mother hen

2008-01-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

(reposted from orig blog, excerpts only 24 april 2007)

Am I ready to become a mother?

As I watch my younger-used-to-be-little sister breastfeeding my tiny fragile and precious nephew, as I hear her sometimes complains of how sore her nipples are due to the sucking hungry little angel, as I listen to the loud screeching cry coming out from the tiny body of my nephew, as I see how difficult it is to take care of this young lil angel day in day out. As I recall the process of pregnancy especially the labor and delivery, as I count the many financial obligations you have to put up with, as I think on how you will put the right values and proper skills to make this sleeping tiny little baby transformed into a real human being ready to conquer the world. As I compare my hubby’s nieces as they grow up, I saw them from womb now into their toddler years, how they grow up fast, how they ask too many questions and talks aloud, plays endlessly and other childish things. But through it all, with a mere smile and the mere sight of this womb growing into such a beautiful creature, perhaps answers the ultimate beauty queen question---the essence of being a woman. Corny as it may sound, but I think it is the ultimate truth.

As I chew over all these things, I become more deeply conscious on the question, am I ready to become a mother? Am I all set and geared up in all aspects of life? Am I set to stand up and play the role called motherhood? Am I prime to fulfill the essence of being a woman?

All these funny questions are boggling my mind, because I know honestly, deep within my soul, right these very moment in my life, like for now… all I can say is that I am sincerely just ready to become a wife but not yet a mother. Maybe soon or maybe not, only God knows when and if that day comes, I will surely be prepared to fulfill my calling to “motherhood”.

For now, I am ready to become a temporary nanny to my lil nephew and a future wife. Hehehe c’ est le vie...

biatch crisis

2008-01-22T21:25:00.001+08:00

(reposted from orig blog 26 June 2006)

yesterday i was talking with one of my bestfriends but my craziest best buddy ever, yheng; she was raving about some "heart topics" then came to a certain point that she was ranting about "future career thingy". well, i guess its part and parcel of what you called "a mid 20's crisis". yep, you read it right a mid 20's crisis. last week, when my bestest bestfriend, erva and i were discussing about this thing called "mid 20's crisis", we were thinking whether we both have such crisis, and we just chuckled a grin, a devilish saddish funny grin and snorted.....

a mid 20's crisis...what the hell is it? i really dont know but i gez its just a natural thing to experience, its not an abnormality of some sort, its like some may or may not experience it, its like a complex thing i dont even know how to explain,but i read such thing in a mag,really. but i can define it as maybe, just maybe (hehehe) its a dilemna most mid 20-ish persona has... its like its either your having a crisis on general yet simple but crucial things. kinda weird and complex huh?! its like you're in the crossroad of everything that matters your very existence on this planet Earth. its an everyday dilemna on a lot of things but i just wanna talk about whether you're on the right track of your journey in terms of two major points in life like:

point 1. in terms of love=== a dilemna whether you're single by choice, single by chance, single since birth, its complicated, in a relationship and very much taken, in love but not yet committed, very much blissfully and happily committed and engaged, and or so married and even divorced/separated. whatever there is in your "civil status" or whatever you call 'em.. it still boils down to some query like... "are you proud and happy, biatch?!" hehehe....

point 2. in terms of career=== a dilemna whether you're on a job either abroad or local, on a job yet sooo tired and unhappy, on a very satisfying job and oh sooo loving it, looking for a job, not looking for a job or "you-son-of-a-biatch-cralazy-dumb-ass-BUM or the usual... PAL", in the tagalog lingo. whatever it is that you have on your supercalifragislitic resume that lands you on your so called dream job or dreaded job or makes you sit on your lazy boy all day; still it boils down to the query like.... "are you proud and happy,biatch?!" hehehehe

last night when i finished my small chitty chat with my best buddy yheng, i came to my senses and remembered the book i read by my fave author, who else but the paulo coehlo, the main jist of it was that in some point in your life you will lose your head on such situation that you dont control, in some point in your life you will lose the ability to use your mind to make decisions, in some point you will just lose it all... but such chapter will help you take control of your very soul...the courage and the hope that one day things will come your way. well, some thing like that is what he said... and i liked it. it hits me last night that yes... indeed, not everyday is your day; and yesterday wasnt mine or the days before those days...hehehe but i know that some day, some one simple day will come to me and it will be what i will call---my day!hehehe. bottom line to all of it, is that in fact, in reality, in whatever u call 'em=== i am experiencing some point in this crazy life of mine what others may call-- the mid 20's crisis... and i am proud and happy,biatch... does that answer the query?! i gez so... hehe

radical sabatical

2008-01-22T21:23:00.000+08:00

(reposted from orig blog 25 August 2007)

do you sometimes feel like you're in a middle of the road then suddenly felt like stopping and sitting by the sidewalk listening to the buzzing and hussling jam of the lively street? do you sometimes feel like lost in your own fantasy? do you feel like you wanna do someting for quite sometime but can not, perhaps because of some things far more important like a career or family? do you live a life you've been dreaming of or living a life that others want you to live as well? sounds complicated, huh

when i saw a news interview with echo rosales a few months ago, i cant helped but think what a guy... with the booming biz career he has, he wanted to stop and stay low for a while--- because he wanted to do something he's dying to do for quite sometime. according to him, he wanted to feed his soul--- too deep yet a very inspiring thought.

how do you feed your soul? with spiritual readings i have been bombarding myself lately, i came to my senses that indeed not only money/career makes you happy, deep inside. when i was watching a local tv show last week, i saw this model commented that what makes her happy is by getting rich for without money you cant be happy. period. for the whole program she kept on mentioning money, money, money equals happy, happy, happy. i just gave a shrug. yeah, i know... money makes the world go 'round. no money no honey. no money no play. no money no happy. with all the things they say about money be it a positive or a negative one, still money counts. does it count for me? hmm, i will be a hypocrite not to say that yeah money counts in times like this... but i will be proud and bold to say that it is not a big factor in my life right now...

wen i was in dubai working as an OFW nurse, i was earning quite a few compared to the little dough from USTH. i was happy wen i received my "so-called big paycheck", it just went like air... puff... immediately wired the money to the PH, and boom... for quite sometime it made me feel great coz im helping my family back home, it felt happy but not so happy. i knew deep inside me someting was wrong. so, i packed my bags, went back home and called it quits. i went home empty handed yet my heart was telling me i did something right this time. there, i was earning this and making my pocket happy but am i making my soul happy? here, i practically dnt have anything in my pocket (anymore,hehehe) but am i feeding my soul with lessons that will make me strong?

i got inspired when i read an article asking the ultimate question: what is a good life? the author said and i quote: "its goin to sound like cliche, but i dont care, il say it anyway: money and power only go so far in life and they can never gurantee you happiness. luv, frends and family... while this may sound like traditional hallmark greeting card, i believe that they are the real ingredients for happiness and fulfillment. i min, naturally we all have to make money and we all want to succeed and make sumting out of your lives and thats all well and good, but we shud never take for granted the people who make those lives worth living."

i believe thats life--- you either nor neither have one or the other be compromised, its not just luck/destiny but its just a choice coz life is all about choices. we are given with a lot of windows and even doors of opportunities, we are given crooked and down hell paths to travelled, and we are given the summit of success...thats the cycle of life itself, i guess. but the bottom line of it, in the long winding road is the ulitimate question...is it what you want to call your good life? only your soul can answer this query... and i guess, with my crazy mind on my head and my burning heart in the bottom of me--- il be in the right track towards my own good life.

goin wd d flow

2008-01-21T15:32:00.000+08:00

14 jan 2008

Goin with the wave, jump in the splash….. I was going home and waiting for the lrt coach to arrive when these words in a couple’s tee shirt caught my attention. Then when I got home, I received a mail from my Canadian application only to realize that I had to re apply it again in order to be eligible again for licensure. Boom, it hit me again that I was almost about to leave the country this month, only to realize that as if nature conspired into not letting it to happen, for now. Funny, how destiny works its way into your life. And all you have to do is just go with the freaking flow.

It was as if giving me the sign on what to do with my career life. For the past years, I have been patiently waiting for the right opportunity for the right career, as they say. And one day, like a thief in the night came crashing into my window, an opportunity worth gambling on. Thus, I jumped into the wave and allowed myself to be drowned into expectations only to discover that a bigger wave will come crashing through my flow. And then, the cycle goes on. It’s time when you pick yourself up again, move on and open yourself to the bigger world of opportunities. Still, it was all a blessing.

“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” – veronika decides to die. Paulo coehlo

I remembered this line simply because of where I stand now. I’m in a midst of a long road traveling my career path, to a place where still is yet to be unfold before my very eyes. Patience and courage is still the great virtue in order for me to hold on to my dreams. I still cling on to them as tightly as possible. Who knows what will happen, ryt? Only God knows… have faith always!

Laters.

prayer

2008-01-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

01 january 2008

just wanna share this prayer to all.. happy 2k8!

Dear God, You said, Come to me, all of you who are tired and heavily burdened and I will give you rest. I come to you, today... Right now. Please touch every pore, every fiber, every cell of my body. Touch my mind, my heart, and my spirit. Fill me with hope. Teach me to believe that with God nothing is impossible. Let me forget and forgive all events that make me sad: and when I worry, teach me to rely on you. Help me to believe that nothing happens by chance and everything that happens has a reason.
I trust that no matter what, you will fight for me. I only need to be still. I need not fear anymore. Help me, heal me, hug me, be here in my pain. Blessed pain, holy pain. Blessed pain, holy pain. I accept your will, but touch every part of me that needs healing... heal my body, heal my heart, heal my mind, heal my spirit, heal my pocket, heal my memories. I have come to you with my burdens. You will give me peace, you will give me REST, You will give me healing... and this I believe.
I believe that I am healed.I believe that I am whole.I believe that I can now live life to the full.

sucker for books

2008-01-16T11:56:00.000+08:00

09 dec 2007

"When I get a little money, I buy books and if any is left, I buy food and clothes"- deciderus maximus

For such a quote, truly describes my passion for books. Others may go gaga shopping for clothes, shoes and bags. Don’t get me wrong, but I also loved em. But not as much as books. I do not have a library of expensive books or whatsoever. But my collection of books is very precious to me for they have sentimental values in a way. They were really fruits of hard labor, as they say.

At the end of a paycheck, minus the bills to be paid, I always make sure I save some to buy a book. It is in a way, a gift for myself after a hard days work, as they say.

I know some people go gaga over shopping for the latest trends in fashion and latest techie stuffs, some people will just spend it over a luscious chocolate decadent cake or aged blue cheese, some may even call themselves shopaholics for some reasons….

But call me guilty as charged, if you’re a crazy shopaholics for books.. such a sucker!
Laters...

bumped and bruised

2008-01-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

11 dec 2007

Our baby got bruised and wounded. So, we had to rush her to the nearest care possible. Oops, before I misled you into thinking some things, its only our baby jorey, a ’97 honda civic lxi.

She’s been with us for almost 2yrs now, I think. But only last Friday night did she got badly bruised by her daddy while driving home with colleagues. She was rammed in her bumper and one headlight got misaligned and windshield was partly broken. Whew, thank God daddy’s ok and nothing bad really happened except for the damages on jorey. As it is, it was just purely an accident.

We went to the ever popular Banawe in QC to check on her. Funny, how people do magical works with their hand with just a piece of old wood and a hammer, with a little thug and pumps here and there, they were able to restructure her in a sorta nice form. I was amazed how the old man fixed it in a matter of 1hour. Well, a girl like me without any knowledge or whatsoever of cars, is truly fascinated with the work of a latero.

anway, here's our baby now... huhuhu

jorey after her treatment hehehe

laters...

quiapo

2007-12-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

07 dec 2007

Quiapo. Busiest place in the heart of Manila. old downtown.Cheap bargain goods. Nazareno. Faithful devotees.Fresh fruits&vegetables. Mosques. Muslims. Fortune tellers. Old and unique architectures. Handicraft stores. Different routes of puvs. Pirated dvds. Beggars. Snatchers. Traffic. Polluted air. Underpass shops. Muddy and stinky streets.

These are only few of the words that come to my crazy mind whenever I hear the word, quiapo.

Don’t get me wrong, but I really have a love and hate relationship with quiapo. I sometimes loved it but often times I loathe it. I basically grew up in manila, a pure manilena indeed. And a true manilena has had her own quiapo tell-tales experiences.

I basically grew up going to quaipo almost every week, if I may say so. Maybe it’s the core root of my pessimistic view of the place.

Back in the days, my mom would literally drag my two fragile feet, interrupting my playing or sleeping time. Upon distraction, all along I thought I was going to la-la land while traveling the busy and congested manila traffic. Only to my dismay, will I discover the ugly truth. I landed into a grubby scene, a pond of mud, noisy and brusque people, jumble rumble zone, and immense arena of chaos. Boom! Trauma hit my frail youthful perception.

Tracing back, I guess it was one of those vivid memories that made me feel uncomfortable and uneasy with quiapo. It explains my untoward sensitivity to the place, others call haven.

On the contrary, I love quiapo’s different faces, vibrant personalities, accessible wet and dry market places, cheap bargains, good buys, thrifty and haggle deals, even the dvds shoppings. (ops, hehe) although, often times I would rather ask someone to buy me stuffs I need there. I will not have the patience/serenity to explore the place in an instant.

I’m not the type whom you can count on whenever you want to have that spur of the moment quiapo thingy. Believe it or not, I hafta prepare myself psychologically. Call me crazy but its true. I need to at least breathe and redirect myself in advance in order to enjoy the trip. Otherwise, I will just be a grouchy monster who tagged along w/o full consent.

Call me whatever… but I can go with you to the ends of the earth in a single puff but if you’re taking me to quiapo, evil biatch is coming to paint the town black.

I will always have my insanity to quiapo.

on marriage and weddings

2007-12-07T03:00:00.000+08:00

(this is reposted here from my old blog site. i still want to share my insights in line with the coming celebs of some friends and some people who want to enter the married life...)

Yesterday, I saw an interview of a young actor discussing his plans of getting married soon. What caught my attention was his ultimate answer to a million dollar question, “when are you getting married?” To my surprise, I find his answer really intelligently delivered and I hafta agree with it a 101%. His answer was simple, “The plan of getting married is there, the wedding itself is just a ceremony which we truly respect, but for us it is just one day, it is no ordinary day, it’s like a party. What’s important is our life the day after that wedding/ceremony.” Simple yet very eye opener; reflective in a sense.

I have to agree on his perspective, and honestly, it has been my own stand with regards to such issues. Without hypocrisy, any lady would want to have their own “fairy-tale wedding day”, for it is one important day in a person’s life. Who would not want that to happen, right?! I have also such plans of tying the knot, walking the down the aisle and having my so-called dream wedding, why not. And of course it will happen soon, on the right time. But as I grew older and I guess got jaded with ideas, I’ve realized that wedding and marriage should be treated as a different entity. As one actress once said, “What your husband gave you is a wedding, I haven’t been given a wedding but I was blessed to have a marriage.” It sounded bitter, yet it’s simply stating the common perception of young people nowadays.

I just hope people will not get hazy and blurry on the real reason of a marriage. I know someone who even spent a million on her fairy tale wedding, but the issue of infidelity still linger the minds of many. My dad even joke that he would not want me to get married in an extravagant manner, for such jinx follows a glamorous wedding. What is the real reason of a wedding or a marriage in the truest sense? For me, it is a union of two people in love with life and love, two souls turned into one, two beautiful separate lives building a brand new life together. It is what marriage should be, not just a wedding. The marriage should be planned ultimately to achieve the real meaning of it.

I am very happy that two of my closest friends are getting married, though they are both busily preparing for their respective weddings. I know in my heart that they are ultimately 101% happy and I know clearly that what they have isn’t only a wedding but rather a beautiful marriage at hand. I’m getting sentimental about it for I have witnessed my two closest friends in their journey of love, that’s why this certain occasion is not only an affair to remember but rather a blessing. So to my girlfriends and their hubby, lai and roy (dec 2007) and jack and euge (jan 2009) I salute to you a happy marriage. Best wishes! And err, I promise to shed off the fats before the wedding. Hehehe Love you both!

newbie @ blogspot

2007-12-07T01:41:00.000+08:00

For the past few weeks, i got tried of blogging on my other site. So, i searched for other online blogging sites and thus my fingertips led me here. I have been doing blogs for almost 2 years now. But its my first time here in blogspot.

I consider myself as a frustrated writer. I love writing on different things, yes... but such thing didn't craved my consciousness way back.. until only now... that i guess, boredom strikes my crazy mind.

Sooner and but not later, I will spill out my rantings and ravings on different things... on love, relationships, books, travels, people arnd me... and basically the bottom line of all of it will be... I will be sharing a few bits and pieces of my personality. So, I hope you will also enjoy creating your own blog as much as you enjoy reading other's blog. Common, its a free country... while everyone out there in the streets rallying for change of governance, peso hitting way low, people starving in the streets and living in the country we all pray for hope... which i really hope... feel free to rant and rave on different perspective in life... in your own lil way...between you and your pc plus the world wide web.... hehehe.... laters....