"teacher me? teacher u?"

A speaker once said, if you’re only getting into the academe for the mere reason of money/finances, you’re heading the wrong track. Because teaching must come from within, you interact and share yourself with your students unconditionally.

As those words echoes in the labyrinths of my eardrum, it pricks me like an ant, guilty as charged!

An acquaintance once told me, “You should work in the academe; you’re very articulate and smart! You have a lot to share with the students. Swak ka for the job!” It was a great boost of ego indeed but why didn’t I took it by heart?!

Being a teacher/professor/instructor is a great challenge.

I strongly believe it takes a lot of courage, patience and heart in order to teach. I for one don’t have the heart yet. Perhaps that’s the reason why I turned down opportunities to work in the academe. “wala pa sa puso ko ang magturo.”

I don’t wanna teach for the mere reason of earning double or even triple digits per month. I don’t wanna teach for the reason of fame or social status. I wanna teach for the right reason and personally, the right reason is when I have learned and even found in the deepest of my heart that I like (not even love yet) to teach. As simple as that, I guess.


I believe that if I took the job now, it will just be a j-o-b not a vocation or a career. It’ll be another job that I will regret getting myself into because it’s not what I like doing or enjoy even. It’ll be another chained working legs and thorn heart. That’s what I felt when I almost accepted a teaching job in a university. I felt it really isn’t for me…

As I am battling a career dilemma now, I have yet to see what’s in it for me. Maybe this opportunity was given to test new waters, but I don’t feel like jumping in it, yet. Maybe soon or then again, maybe not… who knows?!?

Laters…

library

It is an important element in education. It enriches the mind of a student. It should be a haven of books, periodicals, educational materials and etcetera that is needed to gather research and knowledge beyond the confines of a classroom and lectures of an educator.

As I search the university library I’m enrolled in, I felt sad and desperate. Simply because I can’t find good enough library resources that could help me in my research studies. Then, I remembered how lucky I was having an opportunity to be nourished by my alma mater with 2 building of libraries that are well equipped with books, periodicals, etc that made my college life easier. As I struggled to cope with graduate school, I thank my alma mater for giving me the perks of still using the library in order for me to find all my research thingies possible.

Realization hit me again. I am not disparaging schools without good libraries or taking proud of my alma mater’s resources. But what bothers my mind is how the opportunity to learn from a library impacts the youth of today.

What will happen to less fortunate individuals who wanna enrich their minds? What will happen to schools who can’t afford to provide a well equipped library to their student? What kind of discouragement the school is providing their students? How does one research for a certain topic if the library they have is not readily available? Such and such questions really are a big hole in the education system in our country. Lacking of such is really a pain in the ass. Students aren’t encouraged to use the library because it is incomplete and lacks depths. Students aren’t encouraged to widen their research ability and are dismay on the kind of facilities they have in their respective schools. The government should place a big bulk of budget in this area or the school per se should allocate enough funds in building a good library. A good library not only well equipped with books, periodicals, written manuscripts etc but also with a high tech internet access for their students. It may sound so pricey and ambitious but having this is for a good future of students.

Laters…

separation anxiety

2yrs of bumhood. 2yrs of housewife-hood. 2 blissful years. 2yrs roller coaster ride of emotions.
Am I going crazy?!

As I cry myself like a baby in literally a fetal position late at night. I began to wonder whether I’m really going crazy or I’m already crazy. Too bad, I only ended up with swollen chinky eyes, red stuffed nose, throbbing headache, heavy feeling and a stressful downfall.

My hubby was leaving again for Cebu for some work assignments and this time I’m not coming for the simple reason of probably getting to start a job soon. But why am I not happy of landing a job most people want to have?!? I really don’t know. Sometimes I can’t comprehend my being. I wanna get a job. I don’t wanna get a job. I’m happy being a bum. I’m not happy being a bum. Job or no job. Happy or not happy?!

For the past 2years, I believe I lost my self esteem in terms of career wise. I lost my confidence down the drain! That’s why, most of the time I feel I’m not worthy of such job opportunities coming my way. Thus, I end up not grabbing anything. The problem lies within me! I’m not one person who gets a job just for the mere reason of money and fame. I get a job that I think I’m happy deep inside. Job satisfaction for me comes from within, not only because of monetary benefits but because I believe I can be a better me when I have this kind of job. It may not be practical; it’s even altruistic in nature. But that’s how I see it. What’s the point of having a job that pays so high or even low when you’re not happily contented doing that kind of prestigious or even low key job?!? It’s very difficult to wake up each day with a heavy heart, trying to walk on a heavy road of your work. It’s like you’re literally dragging your chained feet just to work. Do you see my point?!

I felt that when I worked abroad. That’s why, I promised myself I will never allow it to happen again. But most of the opportunities knocking my way, leads me to such gruesome moments again! And I wonder, why?! Was it all a test of courage for me?! If it was, well sadly, I got defeated! Crash and burn alive!

When my hubby delivered me the news of his re assignment again in down south, it was also the day I got the news that I will be starting work soon. I felt ambivalent. I felt sad because my hubby will not be physically there to support me in my “1st week in hell”. Literally, I was like a toddler who for the 1st time goes to school and cries so loud because their parents are going to leave them alone. Do you get the picture?!

According to wikipedia:

Separation anxiety disorder is a psychological condition in
which an individual has excessive anxiety regarding separation
from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment
(like a mother). Present in all age groups, adult separation anxiety disorder
(affecting roughly 7% of adults) is more common than childhood separation
anxiety disorder (affecting approximately 4% of children).

I think I'm having a separation anxiety. Anxiously separating from my hubby physically, who’s my ultimate support system and has a strong attachment of course. Separation anxiety from the reality of bumhood to working class. Argh! I really can’t explain that much. My emotions are intertwined with lots of complexities. My stress level is causing my health to deteriote. My mind is losing it’s sanity state! I’m really really really lost in this career mess that I got myself in.

I really don’t know now… I’m at lost and I hope I’ll soon find the right way to my redeem my insanity, soon! Better hurry up!

sexual compatibilty

Are you sexually compatible with your mate? I took this free test online out of boredom. And lo and behold, I am very much compatible with my hubby. Actually, without even taking the test, of course, I ultimately know we are coz if not, why would I marry him in the 1st place?!

Most of us think that sexual compatibility isn’t really a big factor in considering when talking about marriage. I strongly disagree, with the growing number of infidels; you would wonder why sexual compatibility plays one of the factors in a relationship. Based on surveys, most infidelity issues can be correlated with sexual incompatibiltity problems. Personally, a friend of mine isn’t satisfied sexually with his partner that’s why he felt a void in his sexual life, thus leading him into elicit affairs.

Man by nature has the mating instinct, to procreate and enjoy the life that God gave him. It’s not lustful in a sense but it’s part of our genes as human instinct dictates is to mate and procreate.
Love is shown thru affection and one great act would be to make love to your partner. And that’s we’re sexual compatibility comes into the big picture. You should jive with the same music and wavelength in order to get satisfied with whatever you both have.

Then goes the question: how do you test your sexual compatibility prior to marriage? Does Pre marital sex a pre requisite? (I’ll discuss that on my next series of posts)

But again, the bottom line of it, after the libido tamed down, the years grown old and skin wrinkled, the reproductive system’s ability to mate deteriorated, the romance slowed down and etcetera--- the ultimate factor to consider is still companionship, nonetheless!

movie blast

Last week, I had the opportunity to finally catch this much awaited debut on screen with my lovable and wacky girlfriends. And it was a blast!

Sex and the City was a popular American cable television program based on the novel of the same name by Candace Bushnell. It was originally broadcast on the HBO network from 1998 until 2004. Set in New York City, the show focuses on the sex lives of four female best friends, three of whom are in their mid-to-late thirties, and one of whom is in her forties played by awesome, wonderful and chic talents like Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie Bradshaw), Christen Davis (Charlotte York), Cynthia Nixon (Miranda Hobbes) and Kim Cattrall (Samantha Jones). It discusses not only the complex and intertwined lives of the ladies but most importantly the kind of friendship that bonds them all.

I think the movie holds true with the concept of the series. Wooing us with all the complex set ups and few teary eyed events; the movie was a “good adaptation/continuation” of the TV series. And I bet, there’s even a possibility of a sequel. On the other hand, the lesson we can get is not the sex or love issues presented in the movie but the kind of friendship that revolves with the 4 characters in the movie. Friendships that will lasts a lifetime despite differences and conflicts.

But what makes it on my top list is that, with such chick flick movie on hand, is the people I shared it with. And who else would I wanna go watch it with but with my “gurlfrens”. It’s such a nice get together. Watching a movie you like with also the people whom you love, like good company of old friends. Incomparable! We were like little girls excitedly waiting for the movie, even discussing whose who, sharing fond episodes like crazy addicts, laughing, gigling, sighs and even teary eyed moments, etcetera. Above all, it was really a perfect night out with girlfriends and a perfect “bitin” rebonding with them. It was in a reminder for us, that we should do this more often. hehehe (without our hubbies, of course). But again, despite the buzzling busy skeds of my girlfriends, we unconsciously agreed to have more of such bonding sessions. (winks)

So, to all girls out there who haven’t seen the movie, it’s a great one to see and share with good arms of your “friendships”.

laters...

happy freedom day!

“Walang iwanan sa bayan ni Juan”

It's a very catcy tagline of Kapamilya network in line with the

Araw ng Kalayaan

Do you feel the same way and what’s your stand?!?

Well, that's your personal call, Pinoy!

But for now, all I can say is...

I’m proud to be PINOY

and

I’ll forever be a PINOY wherever this journey takes me…

Happy Independence day, kabayan!

"dialech"

Ever felt alienated in your own country? It’s a usual feeling to feel estranged in a different country with different cultures and traditions plus with a language you can’t comprehend. It’s purely understandable. But what I don’t get is an odd feeling whenever other person speaks of their own dialect in front of a non speaking one. Ever been in set up, where 2 persons right smack in the middle of your conversations suddenly blurts out in their native dialect?! What a sure interruption! How did you felt? Honestly, without any offense or whatsoever, it is purely rude and not courteous.

When I was still working in the hospital, most of my co workers are from up North, so they will literally talk during endorsements on their native tongue. That’s why there was a memo of speaking only the the used vernacular during work sessions. I also encountered that when I was working abroad, most of them are from down south and again, they will use their native tongue to converse in front of a non speaking dialect person.

I know, they take pride of using their native dialect, they are even excited to see persons using it, they may be used to expressing themselves in their dialect, but then again, comes the question of proper timing and courtesy.

I guess, it is but courteous enough to explain to the other person what you are talking about or rather excuse yourselves if you want to converse in your own dialect. It is not being paranoid of what you guys are talking but it is a matter of courtesy and respect to the other person.

I guess, it is but proper to use a language where you both are on the same platform. It is what you call as decency and courtesy.

laters...

"eduKation"

June is the start of the school season. And for me, after almost 6 years, I’ve decided to finally go back to school and pursue further studies. It’s an impeccable decision!

Education is the best gift you can reward yourself that will last a lifetime like love and family. No one can take it away from you. Because what you have is beyond words to explain. It is instill in your minds and will help you mold your profession and personal growth as an individual striving to live in this cruel and competitive world.

To each its own. But on a personal standpoint, I have a high value and appreciation for education. I may not be the brightest one in the class, may not be the successful one after graduation, may not be the crème of the crop, but I will be the best in my own self. The education that I have and will have will be the key to making me fulfilled in my own little world.

Going back to school was a vision for me almost 2 years ago, I have always wanted to pursue further studies but season didn’t permit me to do so. Until recently, some changes happened that made me realized how I really want to go back to school not for any other reason.

Graduate school isn’t my scapegoat. It’s not for the reason of landing a teaching job, becoming a university faculty or dean, applying for a managerial hospital post or whatever. But it is for the mere fact that I’m doing this for myself and not for anything or anyone else.

I wanna regain my self-esteem. I’m giving myself the biggest favor of going back to school to reclaim my “old glory”. A new start; renew myself --- my confidence, my drive and passion for this profession. It’s one of the roads I’m willing to take in order for me to rediscover what I really wanna do with my career life. It’s a very personal thing that others may found odd and weird.

With the ongoing career dilemma that I have, this decison made me step back and see a clear picture, taking away all the worries and stress, and it felt brand new. It’s a breathe of fresh air, indeed!

I know its gonna be a hard and long road ahead --- reading books, listening to lectures, self-reviews, researches, discussions, presentations, exams, new mentors, new faces, new surrounding, etcetera. But with my hunger and thirst for new knowledge and skills plus my passion to try another road, it’ll be a great challenge that I’m willing to take! So, bring it on! hehehe

"black mistress"

Zombie like impressions. Autistic like behaviors. Hyponitic aura. Madman on the loose.

That’s definitely the words to describe the status of my hubby while being crazy over his mistress. Yep, it was all my fault on having his mistress. I have always encouraged him to get one. I even pushed him to the limits to indulge to this craziness.

Why would’nt he, his mistress is slim, sexy, flawless, and very techie and talented – knows music, photos, internet and most especially games that he goes gaga over!

Oops, before you could think of anything… I present to you his new mistress. . .

My ultimate nemesis for attention from my hubby right now is his brand new playstation portable 3.9 version slim black edition. Sleek and sexy!

She's his "black mistress"!

Shoot me pls….
Barely, 48 hours upon purchase, I have stabbed myself like shitload. He was glued to it like 24/7, bigtime. It’s as if he was hypnotized like a madman to this techie invention at hand. OMG! I was literally shouting my lungs out just to get his undivided attention. Well, there goes my competition! Boom! And it was all my fault!!! I wished I’ve never given him the idea of buying this thing. Argh! Too bad and too late, now my competition is doing well of getting the attention of my hubby! But I know sooner and later, the hype and addiction will tamed down (i soo hope), and my hubby (non hypnotic state) will give me again and as always his 101% attention! But for now, I have to put up with such addiction! Argh!

laters...